For years, I held on to the idea that every aspect of my life needed to be under my control.
I meticulously planned every detail, every outcome. I believed that in order to succeed—whether in my personal or professional life—I had to have a firm grip on everything.
But here’s a revelation.
I’ve discovered that controlling everything is not only exhausting but also impractical, and quite frankly, not beneficial at all.
It’s taken me a while, but I’m finally learning the art of letting go. Of trusting the process. And you know what? It’s proving to be incredibly liberating.
In this journey of relinquishing control, I’ve found a deeper understanding of myself and a newfound resilience I didn’t know existed within me.
I’m excited to share this journey with you, hoping it sparks a similar transformation in your life too.
Let’s explore how letting go can indeed pave the way for achieving balance and success in life.
1) Acknowledging the illusion of control
The first step in my journey was a tough pill to swallow.
I had to acknowledge that the control I thought I had, was merely an illusion.
This isn’t about losing hope or becoming apathetic.
Instead, it’s recognizing that life, by its very nature, is unpredictable. We can plan, strategize, and prepare, but there will always be variables out of our reach.
Accepting this was difficult but liberating.
No longer did I have to shoulder the burden of trying to predict and shape every outcome.
Instead, I could focus on my actions and responses, which were truly within my control.
This shift in perspective wasn’t just about relinquishing control. It was also about embracing uncertainty as a part of life and discovering resilience within myself to navigate it.
2) Embracing the unexpected
Let me share a personal example with you.
A few years back, I was running my own small business. I had every detail planned out—market research, growth strategy, financial projections—you name it.
An unexpected economic downturn took a toll on my business. Sales dropped, and my meticulously crafted plans began to crumble.
Initially, I was devastated. But then I realized something crucial—while I couldn’t control the economy or market trends, I could control how I responded to this setback.
Instead of clinging to my original plans, I adapted. I started exploring new markets and reevaluated my business model.
It wasn’t easy, but this unexpected turn of events ultimately led my business to evolve and grow in ways I hadn’t initially imagined.
Embracing the unexpected didn’t mean giving up control entirely. It meant being flexible and open to change.
It involved trusting myself and the process enough to adapt and move forward, even when things didn’t go according to plan.
3) The struggle with perfectionism
Perfectionism and the desire for control often go hand in hand. I know, because I’ve been there.
For the longest time, I was convinced that if I could just perfect every detail, every action, I could prevent failure, disappointment, and judgment.
But in truth, my pursuit of perfection was like chasing a mirage. There was always something more to improve, another goal to achieve, a new standard to meet.
This constant pursuit left me exhausted and discontented.
It was a never-ending cycle of setting unrealistic expectations and then berating myself when I fell short.
The real turning point came when I started viewing mistakes not as failures but as opportunities for growth and learning.
By letting go of perfectionism, I freed myself from the shackles of self-imposed standards.
I began to value progress over perfection and started embracing my imperfections as a part of my unique journey.
This shift didn’t happen overnight. It took time, patience, and a lot of self-compassion.
Because in letting go of my need for perfection, I found a deeper sense of self-acceptance and peace than I had ever known before.
4) Leaning into vulnerability
This might sound counterintuitive, but embracing vulnerability was a significant part of my journey towards letting go.
I used to equate vulnerability with weakness. I thought that by showing any sign of uncertainty or emotional openness, I’d be perceived as less competent or capable.
Allowing myself to be vulnerable meant acknowledging my fears, doubts, and insecurities. It meant opening up to others about my struggles and seeking support when needed.
In doing so, I didn’t just let go of the façade of control; I also allowed myself to form deeper, more genuine connections with those around me.
Being vulnerable didn’t make me weak. Instead, it made me human, relatable, and more resilient in the face of adversity.
It was a reminder that it’s okay not to have all the answers all the time and that there’s strength in seeking help and learning from others.
Vulnerability may seem daunting at first, but it’s a step towards authenticity, empathy, and deeper connections—things that enhance our lives far more than any illusion of control ever could.
5) The power of mindfulness
Have you ever noticed how often we dwell on the past or worry about the future, rather than focusing on the present?
This constant mental time travel is not just emotionally draining; it can also prevent us from truly experiencing and appreciating the present moment.
Practicing mindfulness—paying full attention to the present moment without judgment—can significantly reduce stress and enhance mental well-being.
In my journey towards letting go, incorporating mindfulness into my daily routine was transformative.
Instead of obsessing over things I couldn’t control, I started focusing on the here and now.
I began to appreciate simple joys, acknowledge my feelings without judgment, and respond to situations with more calmness and clarity.
Mindfulness taught me that letting go isn’t about being passive or indifferent. It’s about consciously choosing where to focus our attention and energy.
It’s about embracing the present, with all its imperfections and surprises, and responding to it with openness and curiosity.
It’s a powerful tool that can help us let go of unnecessary control and cultivate a deeper sense of peace and balance in our lives.
6) Accepting and expressing self-compassion
When things go awry, it’s easy to be hard on ourselves. I used to be my own harshest critic, always blaming myself when things didn’t go as planned.
But over time, I realized that this self-criticism was not only unproductive but also harmful.
Learning to be gentle with myself was a crucial step in my journey.
Instead of berating myself for mistakes or perceived failures, I started treating myself with the same kindness and understanding I would offer a friend.
This shift towards self-compassion allowed me to let go of the need for control.
It gave me the courage to make mistakes, take risks, and embrace the unpredictability of life.
It’s okay not to have everything figured out. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or unsure at times.
And it’s definitely okay to ask for help when you need it.
You’re human, after all. Showing yourself kindness and understanding during challenging times is not just a sign of strength; it’s an integral part of personal growth and resilience.
By expressing self-compassion, we can let go of the unnecessary pressure we place on ourselves, making room for acceptance, learning, and progress.
7) Trusting the journey
At the heart of letting go is trusting the journey.
Trust that you’re capable of handling whatever comes your way. Trust that not everything is meant to be controlled or understood immediately.
Trust that it’s okay to change course, to adapt, to learn, and to grow.
This trust isn’t about ignoring challenges or denying reality. It’s about having confidence in your resilience, in your ability to navigate through life’s ebbs and flows.
Life is a journey filled with unexpected twists and turns.
By trusting the process, we open ourselves up to experiences, lessons, and growth opportunities that we might miss if we were too focused on controlling every detail.
Let go, embrace the uncertainties, and trust your journey.
Embracing the journey
If you’ve recognized yourself in any of this, know that you’re not alone.
The yearning for control is a common human trait. But as we’ve explored, it’s often counterproductive and can limit our growth and happiness.
The shift towards trust and letting go isn’t always easy. It’s a journey filled with self-discovery, vulnerability, and resilience.
But it’s a journey worth embarking on.
Start small. Practice mindfulness. Be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned.
Embrace vulnerability and learn from your mistakes.
Trust the process of life, even when it doesn’t align with your plans.
As Allen Saunders once said, “Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans”.
Trust in your ability to adapt, learn, and grow from whatever life throws at you.
With time and practice, you’ll find that letting go of control brings more peace, balance, and fulfillment than trying to hold everything together ever could.
Here’s to embracing uncertainty, celebrating progress over perfection, and trusting the beautiful journey that is life.
