Some people naturally crave attention—it’s part of who they are. But when someone constantly demands it while giving nothing in return, that’s a red flag.
I’ve seen how exhausting it can be to deal with someone like this. They expect you to listen, support, and praise them, yet when you need the same? Suddenly, they’re too busy or uninterested.
This kind of self-centered behavior can drain your energy and leave you questioning the relationship. That’s why it’s important to recognize the signs early.
If a woman in your life thrives on attention but never reciprocates, watch for these 10 self-centered traits.
1) She always makes it about her
Ever notice how some people can turn any conversation back to themselves? No matter what you’re talking about, they find a way to shift the focus.
You could be sharing good news, venting about a tough day, or discussing something important—but somehow, it always circles back to them.
This isn’t just someone being expressive or excited. It’s a pattern. They crave attention and validation, but when it’s your turn to be heard, they lose interest or steer the topic back to themselves.
Healthy relationships—whether personal or professional—require balance. If someone constantly demands attention while giving none in return, it’s a sign of self-centeredness that can drain you over time.
2) She disappears when you need her
I once had a friend who was always in crisis mode. Every time she called, she needed advice, reassurance, or just someone to listen while she vented for hours. And I was happy to be there for her.
But the moment I needed support? She was nowhere to be found. My calls would go unanswered, my texts ignored—until, of course, she needed attention again.
At first, I made excuses for her. Maybe she was just busy. Maybe she didn’t realize I needed her. But over time, I saw the pattern: she expected me to drop everything for her but never did the same in return.
That’s when I learned an important lesson—real connections aren’t one-sided. If someone constantly takes without ever giving back, they’re not just busy or forgetful. They’re showing you exactly where you stand in their life.
3) She thrives on drama
Some people don’t just experience drama—they create it. If things are calm for too long, they’ll stir the pot just to keep the attention on themselves.
Studies have shown that individuals with high levels of narcissistic traits tend to seek conflict because it reinforces their sense of importance. They might exaggerate problems, start unnecessary arguments, or pit people against each other, all while playing the victim.
You might notice that every conversation with them involves some kind of conflict—whether it’s a falling-out with a friend, an issue at work, or a personal crisis that demands your full attention. And if there’s no real drama? They’ll find a way to manufacture it.
Constant chaos isn’t a coincidence. It’s often a tactic to keep the spotlight firmly on them, at the expense of everyone else’s peace of mind.
4) She never says thank you
Gratitude is a simple but powerful way to show appreciation—but for someone who only cares about themselves, saying “thank you” rarely crosses their mind.
You could go out of your way to support them, listen to their problems, or do them a favor, yet they act as if it’s expected. There’s no acknowledgment, no appreciation—just an unspoken assumption that you’ll always be there when they need you.
Over time, this lack of gratitude can be exhausting. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and appreciation, not one person constantly giving while the other takes without a second thought.
If someone never bothers to recognize your efforts, chances are, they don’t see you as an equal partner in the relationship—they see you as a resource.
5) She only reaches out when she needs something
Ever notice how some people only show up when they want a favor? They don’t check in just to see how you’re doing or make an effort to be part of your life—unless, of course, they need attention, help, or support.
At first, it might seem like coincidence. But over time, a pattern emerges. The messages always have an agenda. The calls always come with a request. And once they get what they want? They disappear again until the next time they need something.
Genuine relationships aren’t transactional. If someone only contacts you when it benefits them, it’s a clear sign that they’re prioritizing their needs over any real connection with you.
6) She doesn’t celebrate your wins
One of the best parts of any relationship—whether it’s a friendship, family bond, or romantic connection—is having someone who truly celebrates your successes. Someone who cheers you on, lifts you up, and is genuinely happy for you.
But when a person is self-centered, your wins don’t excite them—they threaten them. Instead of offering encouragement, they downplay your achievements, shift the focus back to themselves, or even make you feel guilty for succeeding.
It’s a painful realization when you notice that someone in your life isn’t rooting for you. Support should go both ways, and if they can’t be happy for you when you shine, they were never really in your corner to begin with.
7) She makes you feel guilty for setting boundaries
At some point, you realize you can’t keep giving without limits. You start saying no. You try to set boundaries. But instead of respecting them, she makes you feel selfish for even trying.
Suddenly, you’re the bad guy. You’re accused of not caring, of being distant, of changing. And for a moment, you wonder—am I the problem?
That’s the trap. When someone is used to taking without giving, any attempt to create balance feels like a threat to them. They don’t want a fair relationship—they want unlimited access to your time, energy, and attention.
But setting boundaries isn’t wrong. It’s necessary. And anyone who truly values you will respect them, not punish you for having them.
8) She gives compliments that don’t feel like compliments
Not all compliments are about lifting you up. Some are just disguised ways to keep the attention on her.
She might say something nice, but there’s a sting to it—like “Wow, I could never pull that off, but it looks good on you.” Or “It’s great that you got that promotion! I wish I had time to focus on work like you do.”
At first, it sounds like praise. But somehow, it leaves you second-guessing yourself. Instead of feeling appreciated, you’re left feeling awkward, guilty, or unsure.
Genuine compliments should feel good. If someone constantly finds ways to make their praise about themselves—or leave you questioning whether it was a compliment at all—it’s not kindness. It’s a subtle way of keeping control of the attention.
9) She rewrites history to make herself the victim
Disagreements happen in any relationship, but with her, the story always seems to change afterward. No matter what actually happened, she finds a way to twist the narrative so that she’s the one who was wronged.
Maybe she lashed out unfairly, but later, she’ll claim you were being insensitive. Maybe she ignored your feelings, but somehow, you’re the one who didn’t communicate properly. And if you try to call her out? She’ll say you’re overreacting or being dramatic.
This isn’t just forgetfulness—it’s a pattern. She avoids accountability by rewriting events in a way that keeps her in the role of the victim and you in the role of the problem.
Over time, this can make you doubt your own memory and instincts. But trust yourself—if it constantly feels like things are being rewritten to benefit her, it’s not in your head. It’s manipulation.
10) She doesn’t actually care how you feel
She might ask how you’re doing, but she’s not really listening. She might say she cares, but her actions never show it. When you’re struggling, she offers little support—unless there’s an audience or it benefits her in some way.
Your feelings only matter when they serve her needs. The moment they require effort, patience, or empathy from her, they become an inconvenience.
It’s a hard truth to accept, but it’s the most important one: if someone consistently disregards your emotions while expecting endless attention for theirs, they don’t value you. They value what you provide.
Bottom line: real connection goes both ways
Human relationships thrive on mutual care, respect, and understanding. But when one person constantly demands attention without giving any in return, the dynamic becomes unbalanced—and over time, that imbalance takes a toll.
When someone repeatedly disregards your feelings while expecting endless validation for theirs, it can leave you questioning your own worth.
But here’s the truth: real connections don’t drain you—they sustain you. Healthy relationships are built on reciprocity, where both people feel valued and heard.
If you find yourself in a dynamic where you’re always giving but never receiving, it might be time to step back and ask yourself a simple question: “Does this person truly care about me, or just the attention I provide?”
