It’s not just what we say, but how we say it that matters. And often, the topics we choose to discuss can say a lot about us too.
Raise a red flag when someone brings up certain subjects in conversation. These could be clear signals that they’re lacking in the emotional intelligence department.
Emotional intelligence is about understanding and managing our own emotions, as well as those of others. Those who lack it may navigate discussions with insensitivity or lack of awareness.
Here are nine topics that, when broached, might just suggest someone could do with a little emotional intelligence tune-up.
Let’s dive in.
1) Gossip and rumors
In the realm of conversation, not all topics are created equal. And the one that often signals a shortfall in emotional intelligence is gossip.
Gossiping about others is a fast track to stirring up drama and damaging relationships. It’s a sign that a person lacks empathy and respect for others’ privacy.
People with high emotional intelligence understand the importance of trust, confidentiality, and respect in communication. They focus on constructive topics and steer clear of harmful hearsay.
If a person consistently brings up rumors or gossip, they’re likely showing deficient emotional intelligence. This behavior can breed mistrust and negativity in relationships.
2) Personal achievements… constantly
We all enjoy a good pat on the back. There’s nothing wrong with taking pride in our accomplishments. However, there’s a fine line between healthy self-esteem and a constant need for validation.
Let me share a personal example. I once had a friend who would constantly bring up his own achievements in every conversation. It felt as if every chat was turned into a platform for him to boast about his latest success. It was as if he was fishing for compliments or validation.
This behavior often indicates a lack of emotional intelligence. People with high emotional intelligence understand the importance of humility and the value of listening to others. They don’t feel the need to dominate every conversation with their own achievements.
3) Controversial topics without sensitivity
We live in a diverse world, filled with different perspectives and beliefs. Navigating this diversity requires tact, understanding, and yes, emotional intelligence.
Controversial issues such as politics or religion can be discussed maturely. However, those lacking emotional intelligence often dive into these without considering the feelings or beliefs of others.
People who have high emotional intelligence are better at predicting others’ reactions and adapting their arguments accordingly. This ability helps them manage discussions on controversial topics with grace and respect.
4) Constant complaining
We all have our off days, and venting can be a healthy way to manage stress. However, when someone constantly brings up complaints and negativity, it might signal a lack of emotional intelligence.
People with high emotional intelligence are able to manage their emotions effectively. They tend to focus on solutions rather than dwelling on problems. They understand that constant complaining can bring down the mood of those around them.
On the other hand, those with lower emotional intelligence may not be aware of the impact their negativity has on others. They may lack the skills to manage their emotions effectively, leading to a cycle of constant complaining.
5) Personal problems… to everyone
Sharing personal problems can be a way to connect with others and seek support. However, those with low emotional intelligence may overshare or discuss personal issues inappropriately.
People with high emotional intelligence understand boundaries. They know when it’s appropriate to share personal issues and with whom. They also recognize the importance of context, ensuring they’re not burdening others unnecessarily.
On the contrary, if someone frequently discusses their personal problems in inappropriate settings or with people they hardly know, it might indicate a lack of emotional intelligence. They may not understand the emotional boundaries that most people naturally respect.
6) Others’ misfortunes as entertainment
It’s human nature to feel empathy when someone else is going through a tough time. We share in their sorrow, offering comfort and support. It’s a demonstration of emotional intelligence.
Sadly, there are some who view others’ misfortunes as a source of entertainment or gossip. They seem oblivious to the pain others are going through. Instead of offering support or empathy, they might even seem to derive pleasure from discussing these situations.
This lack of empathy is a clear sign of low emotional intelligence. People with high emotional intelligence understand that everyone has their struggles and they approach such topics with sensitivity and respect.
7) Criticizing others’ choices
We all have our unique paths in life, shaped by our own choices. I remember a time in my life when I decided to switch careers. It was a tough decision, and not everyone understood it.
There were people who questioned and criticized my choices, instead of respecting my decision or trying to understand my reasons. This behavior can be indicative of low emotional intelligence.
People with high emotional intelligence respect the choices of others, even if they don’t agree with them. They understand that everyone is entitled to make their own decisions and that it’s not their place to pass judgment.
8) Insensitive jokes
Humor can be a powerful tool for connection, when used correctly. Yet, when someone consistently makes jokes at the expense of others or on sensitive topics, it could be a sign of low emotional intelligence.
People with high emotional intelligence understand the impact their words can have on others. They are careful with their humor, ensuring it doesn’t hurt or offend anyone. They appreciate that what one person finds funny, another may find hurtful.
Conversely, those with low emotional intelligence might use humor insensitively. They may not recognize or care about the potential harm their jokes can cause.
9) Disregard for others’ feelings
At the heart of emotional intelligence lies empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. If someone consistently disregards the feelings of those around them in conversation, it’s a significant sign of low emotional intelligence.
People with high emotional intelligence are attuned to others’ emotions. They consider these feelings in their interactions and respond with kindness and understanding.
In contrast, those lacking emotional intelligence often overlook or dismiss others’ feelings. They may seem self-focused and insensitive.
Showing genuine concern and understanding for others’ feelings is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence. Ignoring this key aspect can lead to strained relationships and misunderstandings.
