Ever feel like you’re in a maze when dealing with someone? Like you’re always trying to figure out what they mean or why they’re acting a certain way?
If this rings a bell, you might be tangled up in some emotional games.
We all know relationships can be tough. They need work, understanding, and a lot of patience.
But there’s a big difference between working through problems and being caught in endless mind games.
The bottom line is, if someone really cares about you, they won’t mess with your mind. They will build a relationship based on respect and honesty.
So let’s look at these 12 emotional games that a caring person will never play with you.
Because growing as a person means having healthy relationships with others and, most importantly, with ourselves. Get ready to learn something new!
1) The blame game
Have you ever noticed how some people never take responsibility for their mistakes? Instead, they shift the blame onto others. This is known as the blame game.
In a healthy relationship, both parties are willing to admit when they’re wrong and take responsibility for their actions. But when someone constantly blames you for their mistakes or problems, it’s a clear sign they’re playing the blame game.
This game can be incredibly harmful because it can make you question your own judgment and self-worth. Remember, everyone makes mistakes—it’s part of being human. But owning up to them is a sign of maturity and respect for others.
A person who truly cares about you will not make you feel guilty for their shortcomings. They will understand that everyone has flaws and that we all have room to grow and improve.
2) The silent treatment
If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you know how confusing and hurtful it can be. This game involves someone deliberately ignoring you or refusing to communicate as a form of punishment.
The silent treatment is a manipulative tactic that’s often used to exert control and make the other person feel guilty or anxious. It’s a way of withholding affection and attention to create a power imbalance in the relationship.
But here’s the thing: open communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. If there’s an issue, it should be discussed openly and honestly, not bottled up or used as ammunition.
Someone who genuinely cares about your well-being won’t use silence as a weapon. Instead, they’ll strive to resolve conflicts in a mature and respectful manner.
They’ll understand that communication is key to understanding each other better and strengthening the bond between you.
3) The guilt trip
Guilt trips are all about manipulation. It’s when someone makes you feel guilty to get what they want, without considering your feelings or needs.
I still remember an old friend of mine who was a master at this game. Every time we’d plan to hang out, she’d insist on choosing the location, the time, the activity – everything.
If things didn’t go her way, she’d often say something like, “After all I’ve done for you, can’t you do this one simple thing for me?”
What she was doing was trying to manipulate me by making me feel guilty. This made me feel like I was constantly owing her something, and it was exhausting.
In a healthy relationship, decisions are made together. It’s give and take, not one person always giving and the other always taking.
If someone genuinely cares about you, they won’t try to make you feel guilty just to get their way. They’ll respect your feelings and your choices, even when they’re different from their own.
4) Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a person makes you doubt your own reality, memories, or perceptions. It’s a dangerous game that can lead to serious emotional distress and even mental health issues.
Here’s an interesting fact: the term “gaslighting” originates from a 1938 play called “Gas Light”. In the story, a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s going insane by subtly changing elements in their environment and insisting she’s misremembering or imagining things.
In real life, gaslighting can range from blatant lying and denial to more subtle tactics like discrediting your feelings or perceptions. The aim is to gain control and make the other person dependent on the gaslighter for their version of reality.
Remember, someone who truly cares about you will respect your experiences and feelings. They won’t try to manipulate your reality or make you question your sanity.
They’ll listen, understand, and validate your feelings because they value your perspective and emotional well-being.
5) Constant criticism
Imagine being in a relationship where you’re constantly criticized. Where every move you make or word you say is met with negativity. It’s like walking on eggshells – always careful, always worried about the next critique that will come your way.
Constant criticism isn’t about helping you improve or grow, it’s about control and breaking down your self-esteem. It’s a tactic that can leave you feeling worthless, doubting your abilities, and second-guessing your worth.
But here’s something to hold onto: You are enough, just as you are. You’re not perfect, and nobody is. But you are deserving of respect and kindness.
Someone who truly cares about you will offer constructive criticism when needed, but they’ll also celebrate your strengths.
They’ll lift you up, not tear you down. They’ll remind you of your worth, not make you question it. Because in their eyes, you’re not just good enough – you’re amazing.
6) The comparison game
Let me tell you about my ex. We were together for a few years, and one thing that always got to me was his habit of comparing me to others.
It could be his friends’ girlfriends, his coworkers, or even celebrities. He’d say things like, “Why can’t you dress like her?” or “She’s so successful, why aren’t you?”
The comparison game is a toxic emotional game that can damage your self-esteem and make you feel like you’re never good enough. It’s a tactic used to control and belittle you.
The truth is, we all have our own unique strengths, our own pace, and our own path in life. Being compared to others dismisses our individuality and achievements.
If someone really cares about you, they won’t compare you to anyone else. They’ll appreciate you for who you are, with all your quirks and qualities. They’ll celebrate your progress and remind you that you are enough just as you are.
7) The victim card
You know that person who always seems to be the victim? No matter what happens, somehow it’s never their fault. They’re always at the mercy of the world’s cruelty, always the innocent one being wronged.
Playing the victim card is an emotional game that can be pretty draining. It’s a way for people to evade responsibility and manipulate others into feeling sorry for them.
But life isn’t black and white, and neither are people. We all mess up, we all have our flaws, and sometimes, we’re just plain wrong. That’s okay. What’s not okay is refusing to acknowledge this and hiding behind the victim card instead.
Someone who truly cares about you won’t play this game. They’ll own up to their mistakes, they’ll apologize when they’re wrong, and they won’t manipulate your sympathy to dodge responsibility.
They’ll understand that being genuine means being honest about their shortcomings, and they’ll respect you enough not to pretend otherwise.
8) The superiority game
The superiority game is all about power and control. It’s when someone constantly tries to prove that they’re better, smarter, or more successful than you are.
Here’s a fascinating fact: The desire to feel superior is often rooted in insecurity. According to psychologists, people who feel the need to constantly assert their superiority usually do so to mask feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt.
In this emotional game, every conversation can feel like a competition. But relationships aren’t about who’s better, they’re about mutual respect, support, and understanding.
A person who genuinely cares about you won’t make you feel inferior or less than. They’ll appreciate your strengths, encourage your success, and celebrate your achievements.
They’ll understand that a relationship isn’t a competition, but a partnership where both people are equal.
9) The jealousy game
I remember my first serious relationship, and how my partner would often make me feel guilty for spending time with my friends or doing things I enjoyed without him.
He’d say things like, “You seem to have more fun with them than with me” or “You care more about your hobbies than our relationship.”
It was his way of expressing jealousy, and it felt like a constant tug of war between my personal life and our relationship.
The jealousy game is an emotional game that stems from insecurity. It’s when someone uses guilt or manipulation to limit your interactions with others or control your activities.
In a healthy relationship, there’s room for individuality. There’s understanding that you can love someone deeply, yet still have your own interests, friends, and time apart.
Someone who truly cares about you won’t try to isolate you or monopolize your time. They’ll respect your individuality and understand that having a life outside the relationship doesn’t lessen your love or commitment towards them.
10) The unpredictability game
Unpredictability can be exciting, but not when it’s used as a manipulative tool. This game involves someone being hot and cold – one moment they’re loving and attentive, the next they’re aloof and distant. This can leave you feeling anxious and off-balance, never knowing where you stand.
This game is all about control. It’s about keeping you on your toes, constantly guessing and seeking their approval. It’s an exhausting cycle that can drain you emotionally.
Someone who truly cares about you won’t toy with your emotions. They’ll be consistent in their feelings and actions towards you. They’ll make sure you feel secure in the relationship, not confused or anxious.
11) The perpetual victimhood
Ever met someone who seems to always be suffering? No matter what happens, they’re always the victim, always wronged, always in pain. This is the game of perpetual victimhood.
It’s a manipulative strategy to gain sympathy, attention, or evade responsibility. It’s a way of making others feel guilty for their supposed pain.
Here’s the raw truth: Life is hard for everyone at times. We all face challenges and struggles. But someone who truly cares about you won’t use their pain as a weapon to manipulate you.
12) The emotional blackmail
Emotional blackmail is perhaps one of the most toxic games of all. It involves threats, ultimatums, or manipulative punishments to control someone else’s actions or decisions.
It could be something like “If you leave me, I’ll hurt myself” or “If you don’t do this for me, I’ll tell everyone your secret.” It’s a destructive tactic that can cause serious emotional distress.
Real love doesn’t involve threats or manipulation. If someone genuinely cares about you, they will respect your decisions and boundaries.
They won’t use fear, guilt, or threats to control you. They’ll communicate openly and honestly, and they’ll treat you with the respect and kindness you deserve.
