Trust. It’s an essential element in any relationship, but how can you tell if someone truly is trustworthy?
It’s not always about grand gestures or solemn promises. Sometimes, it’s the little things that give someone away.
If a person exhibits these 10 subtle behaviors, then I hate to break it to you, but they might not be worthy of your trust.
Let’s delve into these behaviors so you can make informed decisions about who you confide in and rely upon.
1) They’re inconsistent
Trustworthy individuals usually have one thing in common – consistency.
Count on them to display the same character traits, uphold the same values, and behave similarly in different situations. That’s what makes them dependable.
But when someone’s behavior is inconsistent – they’re friendly one minute and cold the next, or they promise one thing and do another – it’s a red flag.
This inconsistency can make it hard for you to predict their actions or rely on them, and that’s not a foundation for trust.
2) They avoid eye contact
Eye contact. It’s such a small thing, yet it can reveal so much about a person.
I remember having a conversation with a colleague once. We were discussing some discrepancies in a project report he’d compiled. As I probed further, he seemed more and more uncomfortable and started avoiding my gaze.
It was subtle, but noticeable. And it raised a red flag for me.
Turns out, he was trying to cover up a mistake he’d made in the report.
In my experience, when someone consistently avoids eye contact, especially during important conversations or discussions, they might be hiding something. It’s not a surefire sign of untrustworthiness, but it’s definitely worth noting.
3) They’re quick to place blame
Trustworthy individuals typically own up to their mistakes and accept responsibility. They understand that everyone makes errors and it’s part of the learning process.
On the other hand, those who are quick to point fingers and place blame on others can be seen as less trustworthy.
Individuals who frequently blamed others were perceived as less competent and less effective. This perception can erode trust over time.
4) They over-promise and under-deliver
Trust is built upon reliability. If someone tells you they’re going to do something, you need to be able to count on them to follow through.
But when someone has a habit of making big promises and not delivering, it’s a clear sign they may not be trustworthy.
It’s easy to get swept up in the moment and make grand promises, but actions speak louder than words.
If someone consistently falls short on their commitments, it’s a subtle behavior that can indicate a lack of trustworthiness. Always remember, trust is earned through actions, not just words.
5) They gossip a lot
Everyone enjoys a bit of gossip now and then. It’s a way of bonding and sharing information. But there’s a fine line between casual chatter and malicious gossip.
When someone frequently gossips or shares confidential information about others, it’s a sign that they may not be trustworthy.
If they’re willing to talk about others behind their backs, what’s stopping them from doing the same to you?
Watch out for those who have a habit of spreading stories. It’s a subtle behavior, but it could be an indication that they’re not as trustworthy as they may seem.
6) They lack empathy
In my heart, I believe trust and empathy go hand in hand. If someone can’t understand or share the feelings of others, it’s hard to truly trust them.
Empathy allows us to connect on a deeper level, to understand each other’s perspectives and experiences. It’s what makes us feel heard and valued.
But when someone shows a lack of empathy—when they dismiss your feelings, or fail to show concern—it can feel like a breach of trust.
It’s not always easy to spot, but if you notice this subtle behavior, it could be a warning sign. Trusting someone who lacks empathy can be like building a house on sand—it may stand for a while, but it’s not truly stable.
7) They break confidentiality
Confidentiality is a cornerstone of trust. When we share something personal or sensitive with someone, we trust them to keep it private.
I once shared a personal story with a friend, something I hadn’t told many people. It was difficult for me to share, but I trusted her. Imagine my surprise and hurt when I found out she had shared my story with others.
When someone breaks confidentiality, it’s a clear breach of trust. And it’s a subtle behavior that can speak volumes about their character.
Be cautious around those who can’t respect the sanctity of private conversations. They might not be as trustworthy as you think.
8) They’re overly charming
Charm can be delightful. It’s engaging, attractive, and can make us feel special. But sometimes, it can also be a smokescreen.
Someone who is excessively charming might be trying to win you over quickly or distract you from their less appealing traits. It’s like a magician who draws your attention to one hand while the other performs the trick.
While it might seem odd, an overabundance of charm can sometimes be a subtle sign of untrustworthiness.
Genuine trust is built over time, not won over in a single charm offensive.
9) They display defensive behavior
Defensiveness can often be a reaction to feeling threatened or attacked. However, if someone is constantly defensive, even in situations where it’s not warranted, it could be a sign of untrustworthiness.
If they’re always on the defensive, it might suggest they’re trying to hide something or deflect attention away from their actions.
It’s a subtle behavior, but one that can indicate a lack of trustworthiness. So, keep an eye out for those who are quick to get defensive—it could be a sign they’re not as trustworthy as they appear.
10) They lack accountability
Accountability is the cornerstone of trustworthiness. When someone takes responsibility for their actions, admits their mistakes, and works to make things right, it builds trust.
On the flip side, if someone constantly shirks responsibility, makes excuses, or blames others for their failures, it’s a clear sign they may not be trustworthy.
This behavior is more than just subtle—it’s a glaring red flag. Trustworthy people hold themselves accountable, while those who are not tend to dodge responsibility. This is perhaps the most important thing to remember when determining someone’s trustworthiness.
Final thoughts: Trust, but verify
Trust is a fundamental component of human relationships, be it personal or professional. It’s the glue that binds people together and the lubricant that smoothens interactions.
However, as we’ve explored, trustworthiness isn’t always apparent. Sometimes, it hides behind subtle behaviors that can be easy to overlook.
It’s crucial to remember that these signs are not definitive proof of untrustworthiness but indicators to be aware of. Everyone has off days, and a single instance doesn’t necessarily define a person’s character.
The legendary Ronald Reagan once said, “Trust, but verify.” And that wisdom holds true here. Trust is precious and should be given, but it’s equally important to stay aware and verify when necessary.
So next time you interact with someone, pay a little more attention to their behaviors. You might pick up on subtle signs that could either reinforce your trust or prompt you to reevaluate it. This mindful approach can help build stronger, more trustworthy relationships – the kind we all long for.
