If you’ve ever felt like someone was playing mind games with you, then you know how confusing and exhausting it can be.
People who play mind games often display certain manipulative behaviors that can leave you feeling unsure, hurt, or even angry.
These behaviors are not a reflection of your character, but rather their own insecurities or control issues.
Understanding these signs can be tough, especially when you’re in the thick of it. But knowledge is power, and recognizing these behaviors can help you navigate them.
So today, let’s explore that. Here are 7 manipulative behaviors that will tell you if someone’s playing mind games with you.
1) They’re constantly changing the rules
If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly trying to catch up, you might be dealing with a master of mind games.
These individuals are known for their ability to constantly change the rules of your relationship or interaction.
One moment, they might be perfectly fine with a certain behavior or action; the next, they might act as if it’s the worst thing you could do.
Also sometimes called “moving the goalposts“, this is a classic manipulative behavior used to keep you off balance. By constantly changing what’s acceptable and what’s not, they keep you second guessing yourself and your actions.
You may find yourself always trying to please them or avoid conflict, not realizing that the game is rigged and the rules are always in flux.
This constant rule-changing can also make you feel as if you’re always in the wrong, even when you’re not.
It’s a way for them to gain control and exert power over you, making it easier for them to manipulate your feelings and actions.
2) They shower you with affection
This might seem like a positive thing at first glance. After all, who doesn’t appreciate a bit of extra attention and affection?
But in the context of mind games, this behavior can have a darker side.
Those playing mind games often use affection as a tool for manipulation. They may shower you with compliments, gifts, or special attention one minute, only to withdraw it the next.
The goal? To keep you on your toes and make you work harder to regain their affection.
It’s a confusing and effective tactic. You may find yourself going above and beyond to please them, in fear of losing that special attention.
But it’s important to remember that genuine affection is consistent and not used as a bargaining chip.
3) They use gaslighting techniques
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where a person makes you doubt your own memories, perceptions, or judgments.
The term comes from a 1944 film called “Gaslight,” where the husband manipulates his wife into thinking she’s losing her mind.
In mind games, gaslighting usually involves the person denying or twisting your recollection of events to suit their narrative.
For example, they might insist that a conversation or event didn’t happen the way you remember it. Or they might accuse you of being overly sensitive or dramatic when you confront them about their behavior.
This can lead to self-doubt and confusion, making you more susceptible to their control. Over time, you might even start to question your own sanity.
4) They’re hot one minute and cold the next
Living with this kind of inconsistency can be incredibly difficult. One day, they may be warm, engaging, and full of love for you. The next day, they might become distant, dismissive, or even cruel.
This sudden switch can leave you feeling disoriented and upset.
This ‘hot and cold’ behavior is a common manipulation tactic used to keep you guessing and to maintain control in the relationship.
It’s important to understand that this behavior is not about you or your actions, but about their need for power and control.
Remember, everyone deserves consistency, respect, and kindness in their relationships. You’re allowed to feel hurt by their behavior and it’s okay to express your feelings.
You don’t have to tolerate mind games – you’re worthy of a stable, loving relationship.
5) They always play the victim
Ever noticed that no matter what happens, they somehow always end up as the victim?
People who play mind games love to twist situations to make it seem like they’re the ones being wronged, even when they’re clearly in the wrong.
This can be extremely frustrating, especially when you’re the one who’s actually been hurt.
Playing the victim is a classic manipulation tactic. It allows them to evade responsibility and to justify their actions, no matter how hurtful they might be. It’s also a way for them to garner sympathy and support, further isolating you.
It’s natural to want to help someone when they’re in distress. But it’s also important to recognize when this distress is being used as a tool for manipulation. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your own feelings and well-being.
6) They keep you in the dark
Imagine planning a night out with your partner. You’ve been looking forward to it all week, but when the day finally arrives, they cancel at the last minute with a vague excuse.
This isn’t the first time it’s happened either. It’s a regular occurrence and you’re always left feeling disappointed and out of the loop.
Keeping you in the dark is a manipulative behavior that involves withholding information or being intentionally vague. It’s designed to keep you guessing and to maintain control in the relationship.
The person playing mind games might also use this tactic to create a sense of uncertainty and insecurity in you. The less you know, the more control they have.
7) They demand your time and attention
In any healthy relationship, mutual respect for each other’s time and personal space is a given.
However, if you find that someone is continuously demanding your time and attention to the point where it infringes upon your personal or professional life, it’s a red flag.
This behavior is a form of control and manipulation. By monopolizing your time, they limit your interactions with others and increase your dependence on them.
It’s important to establish boundaries in any relationship. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for needing time to yourself or for wanting to spend time with others.
Your time is valuable and you have every right to decide how you want to spend it. Stand firm and don’t allow yourself to be manipulated into sacrificing your needs for someone else’s demands.
Remember your worth
Above all, it’s crucial to remember your worth. Mind games and manipulative behaviors are designed to chip away at your self-esteem and make you question your worth. But you deserve to be treated with respect, kindness, and honesty.
Don’t let anyone’s manipulative behavior make you feel less than you are. You’re deserving of healthy, loving relationships that uplift and support you, not ones that leave you feeling drained and confused.
Recognizing these behaviors is the first step towards stopping them. Remember, you have the power to set boundaries and demand the respect you deserve. You are more than capable of standing up against mind games.
