Have you ever felt like joy is slipping through your fingers?
I know the feeling. Life gets busy, responsibilities pile up, and before you know it, the days start to blur together. It’s easy to lose touch with that sense of pure, unfiltered joy—the kind that makes life feel vibrant and meaningful.
As I said, I’ve been there, and in my quest to reclaim that feeling, I’ve done some digging into the habits that quietly drain our joy.
What I found is eye-opening: often, it’s not just what we’re doing, but what we’re holding on to that keeps us stuck in a joyless rut.
The good news? You can say goodbye to these habits and welcome back the spark you’ve been missing.
Today, we’ll explore seven such habits that might be holding you back from a more joyful life. Letting go of them has made a world of difference for me—and it just might for you, too.
Let’s dive in.
1) Failing to appreciate the present
This might seem like a no-brainer, but it’s surprising how many of us are guilty of overlooking the present. We become so engrossed in chasing the ‘what could be’ that we forget to appreciate the ‘what is’.
This constant yearning for more takes a toll on our happiness and robs us of experiencing joy in the present moment. As Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh once said, “The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it”
Mindfulness, as I often advocate, is a powerful tool here. It’s about acknowledging and appreciating the present for what it is, without any judgment.
Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routines and you’ll begin noticing a shift in your perspective towards life. Gradually, you’ll start experiencing more joy in the ‘now’, rather than constantly waiting for future happiness.
2) Comparing yourself to others
Let me share a personal story. I used to be that guy who’d look at others and wonder why I didn’t have what they did. Why did they seem so successful, so happy, while I was struggling?
This constant comparison game was a significant happiness drain. It was like I had created my own yardstick for success based on other people’s lives, completely disregarding my personal journey and achievements.
But then, I realized something crucial: everyone has their own path, their own pace. The essence of life isn’t about being better than others; it’s about being better than who we were yesterday.
Once I started focusing on my progress and stopped comparing myself to others, I found joy in my achievements, no matter how small they seemed. It was liberating and brought a sense of joy that I hadn’t felt in a long time.
Ditching this habit might just do the same for you.
3) Letting your ego take the driver’s seat
Now, this is a big one.
Our egos so often drive our decisions and actions, creating a false sense of self-importance and entitlement. This can lead to unnecessary conflict, stress, and ultimately robs us of our joy.
But here’s the thing: our ego doesn’t define us. We are much more than our egos, and recognizing this can make a world of difference in our lives.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve into this concept in more detail, sharing practical ways to reduce the influence of the ego and live with more compassion and understanding.
Letting go of the ego is about being humble, accepting that we don’t know everything, and being open to learning from others. This self-awareness can lead to a more fulfilling life filled with joy and satisfaction.
4) Neglecting self-care
Here’s the truth: self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. Yet so many of us put it on the back burner, caught up in the hustle of daily life. We convince ourselves there’s no time or that it’s selfish, but the reality is quite the opposite.
As noted by the folks at Psych Central, neglecting self-care is linked to low energy, feelings of hopelessness, and even worsening symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Self-care doesn’t have to mean elaborate spa days or expensive retreats. It can be as simple as carving out 10 minutes to journal, going for a walk, eating a nutritious meal, or setting boundaries to protect your time and energy.
When I started prioritizing self-care, I noticed a profound difference. I felt more grounded, more in control, and, most importantly, more joyful.
It’s a reminder that taking care of ourselves isn’t indulgent—it’s essential to living a fulfilling, vibrant life.
If self-care has taken a backseat, consider this your sign to bring it front and center. You deserve it.
5) Holding onto grudges
Holding onto grudges is like carrying a heavy backpack everywhere you go. It weighs you down, saps your energy, and steals your joy.
When we hold onto resentment, we keep ourselves stuck in the past and prevent ourselves from moving forward. It’s a painful place to be, filled with negative emotions that can cloud our ability to experience joy.
Forgiveness, on the other hand, allows us to let go of this burden. It doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or excusing the wrong, but rather freeing ourselves from the grip of those negative emotions.
6) Chasing perfection
We live in a world that often equates perfection with success. Whether it’s having the perfect job, the perfect body, or the perfect home, we’re constantly bombarded with messages that we need to strive for perfection.
However, this relentless pursuit of perfection can take a toll on our mental health and rob us of joy. It creates unrealistic expectations and sets us up for disappointment when we inevitably fall short.
What’s more, according to experts like those at Healthline, perfectionism can even lead to anxiety.
Life isn’t about being perfect; it’s about growth, learning, and embracing our imperfections. It’s about celebrating our uniqueness and finding joy in our journey, with all its ups and downs.
As renowned psychologist Carl Rogers said: “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.” Embracing this wisdom can help us let go of the need for perfection and experience the joy that comes from just being ourselves.
7) Ignoring your passions
Remember when you were a child and you could spend hours doing something you loved? Be it painting, singing, playing a sport, or simply running around in the park, these activities brought you immense joy.
As we grow up, our responsibilities often take precedence and our passions take a backseat. We get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we barely have time to do what truly brings us joy.
Ignoring our passions can lead to a joyless existence though. It’s like missing a vital piece of our puzzle. Rekindling those passions and making time for them can bring back the joy that we’ve been missing.
Whether it’s picking up that paintbrush again, hitting those high notes, or lacing up your running shoes, reconnect with your passions. You’ll find that life becomes a lot more joyful when you make time to do what you love.
Final thoughts: The key is in your hands
Reclaiming joy is not about overhauling your entire life overnight—it’s about making small, intentional shifts that add up to a big difference. By letting go of these seven habits, you can create space for more happiness, peace, and fulfillment in your daily life.
Remember, joy isn’t something that happens to us; it’s something we cultivate. It’s a practice, a mindset, and a choice.
If this post resonated with you, take it as an invitation to reflect on your own habits and identify which ones might be holding you back. Start with one small change, and watch how it begins to transform your perspective.
You deserve a life filled with joy. And the best part? It’s already within your reach—you just need to let go of what’s standing in the way.
Here’s to choosing joy, one step at a time.
