Navigating the tricky world of parenting is no easy feat. Gaining your kids’ respect is a whole new ball game altogether.
The trick lies in understanding that respect isn’t an automatic entitlement; it’s earned. And earning it involves nurturing certain habits that show your kids you’re not just a parent, but a role model.
Here’s the good news. I’ve identified 7 habits that can help you win their respect. No gimmicks, no trickery, just genuine actions that reflect the person you are.
Let’s dive into these 7 new habits and say goodbye to the old ways. Because if you really want to be respected by your kids, it’s time to make some changes.
1) Lead by example
No field of life is more challenging than parenting. And parents know the power of leading by example in earning their kids’ respect.
Often, kids are confronted with choices and dilemmas. And it can be quite a conundrum for them to decide the best course of action.
Enter – leading by example.
This concept, though not new, holds immense power. The basic idea is that kids tend to form their decisions and behaviors based on what they’ve seen their parents do.
Think about it. It’s the reason why kids often imitate their parents’ behavior, consciously or not.
When a child is unsure about how to act, they often rely on what they’ve seen their parents do.
If you’re keen on earning your child’s respect, leading by example – showing them the right way to behave and handle situations – is your best bet.
2) Open communication
In my own journey as a parent, I’ve learned that open communication is a game-changer.
I remember when my kids were teenagers, navigating the turbulent sea of adolescence. It was a time when they were figuring out who they were and what they stood for.
One day, my daughter came home visibly upset about something she didn’t want to talk about. Instead of pressing her to spill, I told her, “When you’re ready to talk, I’m ready to listen.”
It didn’t happen immediately, but after a few hours she came into the living room, took a deep breath, and started talking. That day we had one of the most meaningful conversations in our relationship.
I realized then that open communication doesn’t mean forcing your child to share; it means creating an environment where they feel safe to express their feelings and thoughts without judgment.
This habit not only cultivates respect but also strengthens the bond you share with your kids. And trust me, it’s worth it.
3) Show respect to earn respect
In the realm of psychology, there’s a concept known as the “reciprocity principle”. This principle suggests that we are more likely to give something to someone if they have given something to us. In essence, it’s the idea of “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours”.
The same principle applies when it comes to gaining respect from your kids. If you want your kids to respect you, you have to show them respect first.
This means listening to their opinions, acknowledging their feelings, and treating them with the same courtesy you would an adult. It’s not about lowering your authority, but rather about leveling the playing field.
When children feel respected, they not only learn what respect looks like but also become more inclined to show it. It’s a two-way street that can pave the way for a healthier and more respectful parent-child relationship.
4) Set clear boundaries
Parenting is as much about love and connection as it is about setting clear boundaries.
Boundaries function as guidelines for acceptable behavior, helping children understand what is expected of them. This can range from simple rules like no gadgets at the dinner table to more complex ones like respecting each other’s personal space.
When you lay down clear, fair, and consistent boundaries, your kids not only learn discipline but also come to respect you for your firm yet understanding approach.
Enforcing boundaries isn’t about being harsh or authoritarian. It’s about teaching your child the importance of rules, limits, and the consequences of their actions.
5) Admit when you’re wrong
I recall a time when I had wrongly accused my son of forgetting to do his chores. I later found out it was my mistake; the chores were meant for the next day.
The realization hit me hard. Not only had I wrongly accused him, but I had also done it in front of his younger siblings.
Swallowing my pride, I apologized to him in front of the whole family, admitting that I was wrong and promising to be more careful in the future. The look of surprise and respect on my son’s face was worth more than any pride I had to swallow.
This incident taught me a valuable lesson: acknowledging our mistakes doesn’t make us weak. On the contrary, it shows our kids that we’re human, we make mistakes, and it’s okay to admit them. It instills in them the value of honesty, humility, and responsibility, earning their respect along the way.
6) Practice patience
Parenting is a test of patience. And the more we practice it, the more our kids learn to respect us.
Kids are naturally curious and full of questions. They make mistakes and test boundaries as they navigate their way to adulthood. Instead of losing your cool or snapping at them, practicing patience can work wonders.
When you show patience towards your child’s incessant questions or repeated mistakes, they learn to see you as their safe haven and guide. It tells them that you understand their learning process and that it’s okay to take their time.
Exhibiting patience is not just about tolerating their behavior; it’s about guiding them with love and understanding. This builds a strong foundation of respect in your child towards you.
7) Be consistent
If there’s one thing that stands above all in earning your kids’ respect, it’s consistency.
Consistency in your actions, your words, and your values sets a predictable pattern for your kids. They know what to expect and what is expected of them.
When you consistently lead by example, communicate openly, show respect, set boundaries, admit your mistakes, and practice patience, you set a standard.
This standard is what earns you respect in your child’s eyes. It shows them that you’re not just preaching values; you’re living them.
Consistency is not about rigidly sticking to rules or routines; it’s about being a consistent role model for your child. That’s the key to earning their respect.
The heart of the matter
At its core, parenting is about love, understanding, and respect. The journey isn’t always easy, but the rewards are immeasurable.
Respect isn’t something that can be demanded or forced. It’s something that is earned over time through consistent actions and behaviors.
The seven habits outlined here – leading by example, open communication, showing respect, setting clear boundaries, admitting when you’re wrong, practicing patience, and being consistent – are all stepping stones towards earning your child’s respect.
American journalist and author Hodding Carter once said, “There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings.”
When you embody these habits in your parenting journey, you give your children the roots of respect – a stable foundation of trust and understanding. And with this respect, you also give them wings – the confidence to explore the world knowing they have a strong support system back home.
So as we wrap up this article, I invite you to reflect on your own parenting journey. Where can you incorporate these habits more? What changes can you make? Remember, it’s never too late to start earning your child’s respect.
