Gaslighting can be so subtle that you may not even realize it’s happening—until you start noticing the toll it takes on your emotions.
If you’ve been feeling unusually insecure, doubting your own memories, or second-guessing your reality, there’s a chance you’re dealing with someone who’s using manipulative tactics to keep you feeling off balance.
In this article, we’ll uncover 8 specific feelings that often arise when there’s a gaslighting narcissist in your life.
Recognizing these emotional warning signs can be the first step in reclaiming your confidence and breaking free from their influence.
1) Self-doubt
We all have moments of self-doubt, but when it becomes a constant companion, you may be dealing with a gaslighting narcissist.
Gaslighting narcissists specialize in eroding your confidence. They subtly suggest that your memory or perception can’t be trusted, that your feelings are irrational, or that your opinions are misguided.
The goal?
To make you question your own reality. And when you’re second-guessing yourself, you’re more likely to rely on them for “truth.”
It’s a clever tactic that shifts the power balance in their favor. And it’s not about being helpful; it’s about control.
So, if you’re constantly doubting yourself, especially around a particular person, it might be because they’re gaslighting you.
It’s not your fault, and it’s not just your imagination. Recognizing this is the first step toward reclaiming your reality.
2) Constant confusion
If there’s one feeling that was always present for me, it was confusion. I found myself constantly questioning why the person who claimed to care for me was making me feel so disoriented.
I would often have conversations that left me feeling bewildered. They would deny saying things that I clearly remembered, or twist my words to make it seem like I was in the wrong.
This constant state of confusion is another common sign of a gaslighting narcissist. They create a chaotic narrative to keep you off balance.
Looking back, I now understand that my confusion was not a sign of my failing memory or inability to understand. It was a deliberate tactic used by the narcissist in my life.
3) Walking on eggshells
Often, dealing with a gaslighting narcissist feels like walking on eggshells. Their unpredictable reactions and tendency to flip situations to their advantage can leave you feeling like you need to tread carefully around them.
You might find yourself overthinking your actions or words, worrying about how they’ll react. This constant state of anxiety is a clear sign that something isn’t right.
Interestingly, research has found walking on eggshells is a common feeling among victims of psychological aggression.
So if you’re feeling this way, it’s crucial to take these feelings seriously and seek support.
4) Feeling isolated
One of the most sinister tactics of a gaslighting narcissist is isolation. They often create situations or narratives that set you apart from your friends and family, making you feel alone and unsupported.
This isolation can be subtle. They might suggest that your loved ones don’t understand you like they do, or they might sow seeds of doubt about the intentions of those closest to you.
The goal is simple: to make you more dependent on them. When you feel isolated and alone, you’re more likely to rely on the narcissist for emotional support.
So, if you’re feeling increasingly distant from your support network, it’s time to question why.
5) Loss of joy
Remember the things that used to make you happy? The hobbies, passions, or simple pleasures that used to bring a smile to your face?
If you’re dealing with a gaslighting narcissist, you might find that these joys have been slowly slipping away.
It’s heartbreaking to realize that the things you once loved no longer bring you happiness. Instead, you might be consumed by anxiety, self-doubt, or a constant need to appease the narcissist in your life.
This loss of joy isn’t just a normal part of life or something you need to accept. It’s a sign that someone is manipulating your emotions and controlling your life.
Recognizing this can be deeply painful, but it’s also a crucial step toward regaining your happiness and freedom.
6) Feeling constantly drained
There was a time in my life when I felt perpetually exhausted.
I’d wake up tired and go to bed even more so. And it wasn’t just physical exhaustion; it was emotional and mental fatigue, too.
I now realize this constant drain of energy wasn’t normal. It was a result of the relentless mind games and emotional manipulation I was subjected to by the gaslighting narcissist in my life.
Narcissists have a knack for sucking the energy out of those around them. They demand constant attention and validation and leave you feeling emotionally depleted.
Know that it’s not normal or healthy to feel constantly sapped of energy.
7) Fear of speaking up
A disturbing pattern often emerges when you’re dealing with a gaslighting narcissist: a growing fear of speaking up.
Over time, they condition you to feel that your thoughts and feelings are either wrong, overly sensitive, or even irrational, leading you to believe that sharing them will only invite conflict, dismissal, or ridicule.
This fear can be incredibly stifling, creating a self-imposed silence. You may find yourself keeping quiet about things that genuinely bother you or holding back your opinions to avoid provoking a reaction.
When this happens repeatedly, you may even start second-guessing whether your feelings are valid at all.
As a result, you lose trust in your own voice, preferring to keep peace by staying silent rather than asserting your needs or standing up for yourself when you’re treated unfairly. This then leads to the following sign…
8) Loss of self
Perhaps the most profound effect of dealing with a gaslighting narcissist is the feeling of losing yourself.
They systematically chip away at your confidence, your beliefs, and your sense of reality until you’re a shadow of who you once were.
This loss of self can be terrifying. It’s like looking in the mirror and not recognizing the person staring back at you.
But remember, this isn’t a reflection of your worth or potential. It’s a testament to the destructive power of a gaslighting narcissist.
Identifying this sign can be the turning point, the moment you start reclaiming your identity and rebuilding your life.
Final thoughts: Recognition is power
If you’ve recognized these feelings in your own life, know that these emotional experiences are not a reflection of your weakness, but rather of the manipulative tactics used by someone who seeks to control and distort your reality.
The first step toward reclaiming your power is recognizing these patterns. Once you acknowledge what’s happening, you can start to set boundaries, seek support, and rebuild your sense of self-worth.
Know that you’re not alone. There are resources and support systems out there to help you navigate this challenging journey. The path to reclaiming your identity and peace of mind begins with recognition, and you’ve already taken the first step.
