There’s a fine line between being nice and allowing people to walk all over you.
It boils down to self-respect. Putting up with certain behaviors from others, simply to avoid conflict, is a clear sign that you’re not valuing your own worth.
Being tolerant does not mean letting people disrespect you. And trust me, there are specific behaviors that, if tolerated, reveal a serious lack of self-respect.
In this piece, I’ll share the 9 behaviors you should never put up with. If you find yourself nodding along, it might be time to reassess your boundaries.
Let’s dive in.
1) Disrespectful comments
We all have moments when we encounter people who are less than polite.
But there’s a difference between someone having a bad day and a person systematically degrading you with their words.
If you’re constantly subjected to disrespectful comments, whether they’re about your appearance, intelligence, or any other aspect of your being, then it’s time to draw a line.
These comments can come in many forms – outright insults, backhanded compliments, or even subtle digs. But the bottom line is – they hurt.
No one deserves to be disrespected. And if you find yourself continually brushing off such comments, it indicates a lack of self-respect.
It’s okay to stand up for yourself. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
2) Being taken for granted
Now, this one hits close to home. I remember a time in my life when I felt consistently overlooked and underappreciated.
I had a friend who would only call when they needed something. It could be a ride, help with their homework, or just someone to vent to. But when I needed them, they were nowhere to be found.
I’d find myself waiting around for their calls and constantly adjusting my schedule to accommodate theirs. It was as if my time didn’t matter.
And that’s when I realized – I was being taken for granted.
It was a tough pill to swallow. But acknowledging it was the first step towards gaining back my self-respect.
If you’re constantly bending over backward for someone who wouldn’t do the same for you, it’s time to reassess that relationship. Because in a healthy relationship, both parties’ needs and wants are valued equally.
3) Constant criticism
Studies show that humans respond better to positive reinforcement than negative. Yet, some people seem to have a knack for pointing out every mistake, every flaw, without ever acknowledging your strengths.
Constant criticism can be degrading and demoralizing, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. This behavior can be damaging to your self-esteem and mental health.
If you find yourself in an environment where you’re constantly criticized without being appreciated for your efforts and achievements, it’s a sign of disrespect.
Constructive criticism is valuable for growth, but constant negativity is not. It’s important to surround yourself with people who uplift you rather than bring you down.
4) Emotional manipulation
Emotional manipulation is a subtle yet powerful form of disrespect. It’s when someone uses your emotions against you, often to get what they want.
This can take many forms, like guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or playing the victim. They might twist your words, make you doubt your feelings, or make you feel selfish for prioritizing your needs.
The tricky part is that emotional manipulation can be hard to spot. But once you recognize it, it’s crucial not to tolerate it.
Your feelings are valid, and you shouldn’t be made to feel otherwise. Being in a relationship — whether romantic, familial, or friendly — where emotional manipulation is present, is a clear sign of a lack of respect for your feelings and autonomy.
5) Lack of support
We all need a support system – people who cheer us on, stand by us during tough times, and celebrate our victories.
But if you find that someone in your life consistently fails to support you or even attempts to undermine your achievements, it’s a glaring red flag.
Maybe they dismiss your dreams as unrealistic, belittle your accomplishments, or show indifference when you’re going through a tough time.
Whatever the case may be, lack of support is a sign of disrespect.
You deserve to be surrounded by people who believe in you and your potential. Don’t settle for anything less.
6) Disregard for your boundaries
Establishing boundaries is an essential part of maintaining healthy relationships. It’s a way of communicating your needs and ensuring mutual respect.
But when someone constantly oversteps your boundaries, it feels like a violation of your personal space and values.
Maybe they invade your privacy, make you uncomfortable with inappropriate comments, or dismiss your feelings when you express discomfort.
Whatever form it takes, disregard for your boundaries is deeply hurtful and shows a lack of respect for you as an individual.
Your boundaries are important. They define who you are and what you’re comfortable with. You have every right to enforce them and anyone who truly respects you will honor them.
7) Neglecting your needs
I remember a time when I was in a relationship where my needs were not just overlooked, but downright ignored. My partner would consistently prioritize their needs over mine, and when I voiced my concerns, they’d brush it off as me being too demanding.
This behavior left me feeling unimportant and disregarded. It was as if my happiness and well-being were secondary to theirs.
The truth is, in any relationship, both parties’ needs should be considered equally. If someone consistently neglects your needs while prioritizing their own, it’s a sign of disrespect.
Your needs matter. You deserve to be with people who understand and respect that.
8) Not keeping their word
Trust is a fundamental aspect of any relationship. And when someone consistently fails to keep their word, it erodes that trust.
Maybe they often cancel plans at the last minute, fail to follow through on promises, or habitually lie about small things. These actions show a lack of regard for your time, feelings, and trust.
When someone can’t be relied upon to keep their word, it’s a sign of disrespect. It communicates that they don’t value your relationship enough to honor their commitments.
9) Always playing the blame game
The inability to take responsibility for one’s actions is a clear sign of disrespect. If someone constantly blames you for their mistakes, failures, or shortcomings, it’s a toxic behavior you should never tolerate.
Blaming others is an easy way out for those unwilling to admit their faults. But it’s unjust and harmful, often leaving the blamed party feeling guilty and confused.
Everyone makes mistakes. It’s a part of being human. You don’t have to carry the burden of someone else’s unwillingness to accept their own faults.
Final thoughts: Respect starts with you
The journey towards self-respect is deeply personal and unique to each individual. But the common thread that binds us all is the fundamental understanding that respect starts from within.
In the wise words of Buddha, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
If you find yourself tolerating any of these nine behaviors, it’s crucial to remember that you’re not alone. Many have walked this path before and have emerged stronger, more self-aware, and filled with newfound respect for themselves.
Each step you take towards asserting your self-respect is a step towards healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life. The journey might be challenging and at times uncomfortable, but it’s a journey worth embarking on.
Ultimately, by setting boundaries, standing up for yourself, and refusing to tolerate disrespect, you’re sending a powerful message to others – but most importantly, to yourself – that you are deserving of respect and kindness.
