As a relationship expert, one thing I’ve learned over the years is that becoming a better communicator isn’t just about the things you do —it’s also about what you stop doing.
Certain habits may be quietly sabotaging your ability to connect with others and express yourself effectively.
What habits? Well, that’s what we get into today. If you’re ready to level up your communication skills, it’s time to say goodbye to these seven.
Let’s dive in.
1) Overusing filler words
When we’re chatting away, it’s easy to fall into the trap of using filler words like “um”, “like”, and “you know”. They creep into our conversations without us even realizing it.
These filler words actually serve a purpose; they give us a moment to gather our thoughts. But when used excessively, they can become distracting and make us sound unconfident or unsure.
I’ve noticed this habit in many of the people I’ve worked with over the years. And while it’s not a fatal flaw, it can certainly dilute the impact of what you’re trying to express.
Experts in communication seem to agree, too. For instance, Deborah Grayson Riegel, a keynote speaker and leadership communication teacher at Wharton and Columbia has noted:
“If you’re filling your delivery with filler words like “um”, “uh”, “like”, “right”, “so” or “you know”, you’re wasting valuable air time, undermining your professional credibility, and giving your listeners multiple opportunities to tune out.”
Trust me, start cutting back on these filler words. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, you’ll find your speech becoming clearer and more concise.
2) Listening to respond
How often do you catch yourself formulating your response while someone else is still speaking?
We all do it. In fact, author Stephen Covey famously said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
While this might feel like active participation in a conversation, it’s actually the opposite. When you’re focused on what you’ll say next, you’re not truly hearing the other person. This can make people feel unheard, create misunderstandings, and weaken the connection between you and the speaker.
Shifting your focus from what you’ll say next to truly understanding the speaker can be transformative. It shows respect, builds trust, and paves the way for deeper, more meaningful conversations.
Try it. Next time you’re in a conversation, challenge yourself to listen fully. Pause before you reply, and take a moment to reflect on what was said.
I think you’ll find that your responses will be more thoughtful—and your relationships will thank you for it.
3) Dominating the conversation
Another huge mistake I’ve seen people make repeatedly is dominating the conversation.
It’s easy to get carried away, especially when you’re passionate about a topic. But remember, communication is a two-way street.
Dominating a conversation might make you feel important in the short term, but it can lead to resentment and disconnection in the long run. It sends out the message that you value your opinion more than others.
To be a more articulate communicator, it’s essential to strike a balance in conversations. Be mindful of giving others space to express their thoughts and feelings. It will make them feel valued and respected, and that’s key to building strong connections.
4) Relying too heavily on jargon
Now, this is something I’ve had to learn the hard way. Early in my career, I thought using fancy words and industry jargon made me sound smarter. But all it did was confuse people and create a barrier between us.
While it’s important to be knowledgeable, how we communicate that knowledge is even more crucial. Using jargon or complicated language can alienate others and make a conversation feel like a lecture.
Instead, aim to use simple, clear language that everyone can understand. It’s not about dumbing things down, but about being inclusive and approachable.
The goal of communication is clarity, not showing off your vocabulary. So ditch the jargon and speak from the heart.
5) Overlooking the power of body language
Did you know that some experts say a staggering 55% of our communication is non-verbal?
That’s right—your words matter, but how you carry yourself can often speak louder than anything you say.
Body language includes everything from your posture and facial expressions to hand gestures and eye contact. It’s a silent yet powerful tool that shapes how others perceive you and the message you’re trying to convey.
Overlooking your body language can lead to miscommunications, misunderstandings, or even giving off the wrong impression entirely. For example, crossing your arms might unintentionally make you seem defensive, avoiding eye contact can come across as disinterest, and slouching might signal a lack of confidence.
Experts in communication stress the importance of aligning your non-verbal cues with your words. When your tone, gestures, and posture all reinforce your message, it makes you appear more authentic, trustworthy, and engaging.
To harness the power of body language, start paying attention to your non-verbal cues during conversations. Maintain good posture, make consistent (but not overbearing) eye contact, and use open gestures to show you’re engaged.
Becoming more aware of how your body speaks can elevate your communication skills to a whole new level.
6) Masking your true feelings
Let’s get real for a moment. Many of us have been taught to suppress our feelings, especially the uncomfortable ones. We put on a brave face, and say we’re “fine”, even when we’re not.
But this isn’t just unhealthy — it’s also a barrier to genuine communication.
When we mask our true feelings, we’re not being authentic. And that can create distance and misunderstanding in our relationships.
Of course, expressing emotions can be challenging and even scary. But it’s a vital part of being an articulate communicator. It’s about being honest with yourself and others and creating a safe space where emotions are acknowledged and respected.
Don’t be afraid to share how you truly feel. It may be uncomfortable, but it will lead to deeper connections and more meaningful conversations.
7) Failing to be present
We live in a world full of distractions. Our phones buzz with notifications, our minds wander to our to-do lists, and we often find ourselves physically present but mentally miles away.
I confess I’ve been guilty of this too. However, being present is essential in effective communication.
When you’re fully present in a conversation, you’re not just hearing – you’re truly listening. You’re engaging, responding, and connecting on a deeper level.
So if you want to be a more articulate communicator, make a conscious effort to be fully present in your conversations. It’s a sign of respect and will greatly enhance your ability to connect with others.
Conclusion
Becoming a more articulate communicator isn’t about mastering complex vocabulary or perfecting your public speaking skills. It’s about being genuine, present, and respectful in your interactions.
By saying goodbye to these habits, you can enhance your communication skills and build stronger, deeper connections with others.
Keep learning, growing, and striving to be the best communicator you can be.
