There’s a huge gap between speaking in public with confidence and just getting by. The difference? Habits.
Some habits can shackle your natural charisma and undermine your confidence when you least want it to.
If you want to speak with conviction, it’s essential to identify these confidence-killing habits and say a firm goodbye to them.
In this article, we’re going to discuss the 9 habits that you need to ditch in order to boost your confidence when talking in public. Get ready to embrace a new and improved version of you.
1) Apologizing unnecessarily
Public speaking can be intimidating and often, we fall into the trap of apologizing for our perceived shortcomings.
You might start off your speech with, “I’m sorry I’m not a good public speaker,” or apologize in the middle for losing your train of thought.
The thing is, most of the time, your audience doesn’t notice these so-called mistakes. And even if they do, they are usually more forgiving than you’d expect.
Apologizing draws attention to these mishaps and takes away from your credibility. It signals a lack of confidence and can make your audience feel uncomfortable.
Instead of saying sorry, take a deep breath, gather your thoughts and move on. Your audience will appreciate your composure and confidence.
It’s not about being perfect, it’s about communicating effectively. And you can’t do that if you’re constantly apologizing.
2) Fearing silence
I remember my first public speaking engagement. I was so worried about having awkward silences that I rushed through my presentation, barely taking a breath between sentences.
As I found out later, my fear of silence didn’t do me any favors. The audience had a hard time keeping up with my pace, and I ended up sounding nervous and unprepared.
Silence in a speech isn’t something to fear, it’s a tool. Pausing gives your audience time to absorb what you’re saying and it gives you time to collect your thoughts. Plus, it can add emphasis to important points.
Now, when I speak publicly, I embrace the silence. Instead of rushing through my points, I pause and give my listeners time to digest what I’ve said. It’s made a world of difference in my confidence and the effectiveness of my communication.
3) Relying on filler words
“Um”, “like”, “so”, “you know” – these are all examples of filler words that can creep into our speech, especially when we’re nervous. While they seem harmless, they can actually disrupt the flow of your speech and distract your audience.
A study by the University of Maryland found that speakers who use fewer filler words are perceived as more intelligent and competent.
Filler words often become a crutch that we lean on when we’re unsure or trying to think of what to say next. But they can make us sound less confident.
The first step to eliminate this habit is to become aware of it. Record yourself speaking and listen back to identify your most commonly used filler words. Then, practice pausing when you would normally use a filler word. It may feel unnatural at first, but with time, you’ll sound more polished and confident.
4) Neglecting body language
When we think of public speaking, we often focus on what we’re going to say. But how we say it – our body language – is just as important.
Our posture, gestures, and facial expressions all communicate messages to our audience. If your words are confident but your body language is closed off or anxious, it can send mixed signals.
For instance, standing tall with open, relaxed posture conveys confidence and composure. Making eye contact with your audience can create a connection and keep them engaged.
On the flip side, constantly shifting your weight, avoiding eye contact or crossing your arms can suggest nervousness or unfriendliness.
Pay attention to your body language. Practice in front of a mirror or record yourself to spot any distracting habits.
5) Reading from a script
While it may seem like a good idea to write out your entire speech and read it word for word, this can actually be counterproductive.
When you’re reading from a script, your focus is on the words in front of you, not on the audience. This can make your delivery sound rehearsed and impersonal.
Plus, it limits your ability to adapt to audience reactions. If you notice that your audience is not responding as expected, you want the flexibility to adjust your delivery or content on the spot.
Instead of reading a full script, try using key points or an outline as a guide. This allows you to maintain eye contact with your audience and deliver your speech in a more natural and engaging way.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t prepare. Practice your speech thoroughly to ensure you’re comfortable with the material. But when it’s time to present, trust yourself and let the conversation flow naturally.
6) Not believing in your message
The most impactful speeches are those delivered by speakers who truly believe in what they’re saying. When you’re passionate about your message, it shines through and resonates with your audience.
If you don’t believe in what you’re saying, why should your audience? Doubt can seep into your words, your tone, and your body language, undermining your credibility and the power of your message.
To speak with confidence, you need to believe in your message. Understand why it’s important, why it matters to you, and why it should matter to your audience. Align yourself with the purpose and value of what you’re sharing.
This might mean turning down speaking opportunities that don’t resonate with you or taking the time to find the aspect of a topic that truly speaks to you.
When you speak from a place of belief and passion, not only will you feel more confident, but your audience will feel that confidence and be more likely to engage with and remember your message.
7) Avoiding preparation
I remember my first keynote speech. I thought I could just wing it. After all, I knew my topic inside out. But as soon as I stepped on stage, my mind went blank. I stumbled through the speech, forgetting key points and losing my audience’s attention.
That experience taught me a valuable lesson: never underestimate the power of preparation.
Preparation goes beyond just knowing your topic. It’s about understanding your audience, anticipating their questions, rehearsing your speech, and being comfortable with the flow of your presentation.
Spontaneity has its place, but not when you’re delivering a speech to a room full of people who are there to learn from you. Preparation helps you to deliver your message with confidence and clarity.
Don’t skimp on preparation. Spend time researching, rehearsing and refining your speech. Your confidence – and your audience – will thank you for it.
8) Ignoring your audience
Public speaking is not just about delivering your message, it’s about engaging your audience. If you’re too focused on what you’re saying and ignore your audience’s reactions, you risk losing their interest.
Pay attention to your audience’s body language. Are they engaged and attentive, or are they losing interest? If they seem confused, maybe you need to clarify a point. If they look bored, perhaps you need to inject some energy or humor into your speech.
Also, encourage interaction whenever possible. Ask questions, invite comments, or create opportunities for discussion. This not only keeps your audience engaged, but it also makes your speech more memorable.
Public speaking is a two-way street. You’re not just there to talk; you’re there to connect with your audience and leave a lasting impression. So don’t ignore them. Engage them and make them an active part of your presentation.
9) Neglecting self-care
It’s easy to get so wrapped up in preparing for a speech that you forget to take care of yourself. But neglecting self-care can actually undermine your confidence and performance.
Getting enough sleep, eating healthy, exercising regularly – these are all crucial for maintaining your physical and mental wellbeing. When you feel good physically, it’s easier to feel confident mentally.
Moreover, practices like mindfulness and deep breathing can help manage anxiety and keep you centered on stage.
Don’t neglect self-care in the run-up to your speech. Take care of your body and mind, and they’ll take care of you on stage.
