The secret to popularity isn’t age, it’s behavior.
As we get older, it’s not uncommon for some behaviors to stick around that should have been left behind.
But here’s the thing: if you want to be well-liked and respected in your later years, certain behaviors need a firm goodbye.
This isn’t about pretending to be someone you’re not, or manipulating people to like you. It’s about growth, maturity and understanding how your actions impact those around you.
In this article, we’ll be discussing seven behaviors that you might want to reconsider if you’re aiming for popularity as you age.
Let’s dive in.
1) Complaining constantly
We all have those days. The ones where nothing seems to go right and all we want to do is vent, vent, vent. But here’s the thing: constant complaining can be a real popularity killer.
As we get older, people tend to appreciate a more positive and solution-oriented outlook. It’s not that they expect you to be unrealistic or overly optimistic, but continuously focusing on the negatives can be draining for those around you.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s completely okay – and even healthy – to express your frustrations and concerns. The key is not to dwell on them. Instead, try to shift the conversation towards potential solutions or look for the silver lining.
The goal? To become someone who uplifts others, not brings them down with constant negativity.
Popularity isn’t about putting on a fake smile, but about being someone whose company others genuinely enjoy. And who doesn’t love spending time with a positive, uplifting person?
2) Being judgmental
This one hits close to home. I used to be quick to judge others based on my own standards and expectations.
I remember a time when a friend of mine made a decision I didn’t agree with. Instead of trying to understand her perspective, I immediately judged her choice as wrong. This created unnecessary tension between us, and I noticed that my judgmental attitude was pushing her away.
As I got older, I realized just how detrimental being judgmental can be to relationships. Not just with friends, but with family, colleagues, and even strangers.
Being judgmental can create a barrier that prevents genuine connections from forming. It’s crucial to remember that everyone has their own journey and experiences that shape their choices.
3) Ignoring personal growth
In Japan, there’s a concept known as Kaizen, which translates to “continuous improvement”. This philosophy emphasizes the importance of constant learning and personal development.
As we age, it can be easy to fall into the trap of complacency, thinking we’ve learned all there is to know. But personal growth shouldn’t stop just because we’ve hit a certain age.
On the contrary, pursuing new knowledge and skills can make us more interesting and relatable to others. It also demonstrates humility and openness, qualities that people tend to admire.
4) Neglecting self-care
As we age, it becomes even more important to prioritize self-care. This doesn’t just refer to physical health, but also mental and emotional wellbeing.
When we neglect self-care, it not only affects us but also the people around us. It’s hard to project positivity and enthusiasm when you’re constantly feeling run down or overwhelmed.
On the other hand, when we take care of ourselves, we’re more likely to radiate positivity and inspire others. It also shows respect for ourselves and sets a good example for those around us.
5) Holding onto grudges
There was a time when I kept a mental list of all the wrongs done to me, holding onto grudges like they were precious gems. But over time, I realized that these grudges were doing more harm to me than to the people they were against.
Holding onto grudges is like carrying a heavy backpack wherever you go – it weighs you down and prevents you from moving forward. It also affects your interactions with others, as unresolved anger can often seep into unrelated conversations and relationships.
Letting go of grudges doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning what happened. It simply means choosing to focus on the present and the future, rather than being stuck in the past.
If you want to be popular as you age, learning to forgive and let go can be a powerful step towards building stronger, more positive relationships.
6) Being overly competitive
A little healthy competition never hurt anyone, right? While that might be true in some cases, being overly competitive can actually harm your relationships in the long run.
When you’re constantly trying to outdo others, it can make them feel inadequate or undervalued. It can also create unnecessary tension and conflict.
Instead of always trying to be the best, focus on being the best version of yourself. Celebrate others’ successes and victories as much as your own. This will not only make you more likable but also help build stronger, more supportive relationships.
7) Not listening
Listening – really listening – is perhaps the most powerful tool in building strong, lasting relationships. When we listen, we show others that we value their thoughts and feelings. It shows respect and empathy, qualities that people of all ages admire.
But as simple as it sounds, real listening is more than just hearing words. It involves being fully present, not interrupting, and responding in a way that shows understanding.
In a world where everyone is eager to express their own opinions, being a good listener can make you stand out.
The heart of the matter
At the end of the day, popularity isn’t about putting on a show or pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about authenticity, empathy, and respect for others – qualities that are admired at any age.
Interestingly, a Harvard study that spanned over 80 years found that close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.
So as we age and aim for popularity, let it not be a chase for approval or spotlight. Instead, let it be about nurturing authentic connections and growing into a person others genuinely enjoy being around.
And remember – it’s never too late to say goodbye to behaviors that no longer serve us and embrace those that make us better individuals.
Because in the grand scheme of things, it’s not just about being popular; it’s about being a person of value. And that’s a goal worth striving for at any age.
