Gaining respect from others isn’t always about what you do, but often about what you avoid doing. Especially when it comes to conversation, there are certain topics that can quickly tarnish your image.
Indeed, there are some things best left unsaid if you want to be respected by the people around you. And smart individuals understand that steering clear of these taboo subjects can significantly boost their image.
In this article, I’m going to share with you the 10 things you should never talk about if you want to be respected.
Let’s dive in and improve our conversational skills together.
1) Personal grievances
Respect is something that’s earned over time and can be easily lost in a single conversation. One of the quickest ways to lose respect is by airing your personal grievances to others indiscriminately.
We all have issues, problems, and pet peeves. But using every conversation as a platform for venting isn’t going to win you any respect. It might, instead, paint you as a complainer or someone who can’t handle their issues maturely.
That’s not to say you should never talk about your problems. There’s a time and place for everything. And sometimes, sharing can even foster connections and offer solutions.
But chronically complaining or regularly turning conversations into sessions of self-pity is definitely a respect-killer.
2) Controversial topics
This one’s a bit tricky because it’s not always about avoiding the topic entirely, but more about knowing when and with whom to engage in these discussions.
I remember a time when I was at a family gathering. I found myself in a conversation with my uncle who had some pretty strong political views, quite opposite to mine. Realizing the potential for conflict, I made the conscious decision to steer the conversation away from politics and towards a more neutral topic.
It wasn’t about ignoring his views or pretending to agree, but about maintaining respect and keeping the atmosphere peaceful.
Discussing controversial topics like politics, religion, and personal beliefs can quickly turn a friendly chat into an argument. It’s important to know your audience and understand the appropriate time and place for these discussions. If handled poorly, it can lead to loss of respect and strained relationships.
It’s about fostering respect and understanding, not winning debates.
3) Other people’s secrets
Trust is the bedrock of respect, and nothing breaks trust faster than revealing someone else’s secrets. When someone confides in you, they’re giving you a piece of their trust, an element of their vulnerability.
Sharing someone’s secret not only betrays their trust but also paints you as untrustworthy to others. After all, if you can share one person’s secret, who’s to say you won’t share another’s?
Individuals who gossip and share secrets are often less trusted in social groups. This lack of trust significantly impacts the level of respect others have for them.
4) Financial status
Discussing money matters is often considered taboo, especially when it comes to your own financial status. Whether you’re extremely wealthy or struggling to make ends meet, sharing this information can lead to discomfort, comparisons, and even resentment.
Talking about your financial achievements can come off as bragging and create an uncomfortable dynamic. On the other hand, constantly talking about your financial struggles can make people feel burdened or obliged to help.
The key is to maintain a balance. There’s nothing wrong with discussing financial goals, plans, or even seeking advice. But divulging too much about your financial status can lead to a loss of respect.
5) Negative comments about others
Nobody likes a gossipmonger, especially when they’re spreading negativity about others. It’s a surefire way to lose respect.
Even if you’re just trying to vent or share your frustration, speaking ill of others – especially when they’re not present – can make you come across as unkind or even malicious. It also raises the question: If you’re talking about them behind their back, who’s to say you won’t do the same to me?
Words have power. Using them to spread negativity can harm your relationships and tarnish your reputation.
Instead, aim for constructive criticism and positive feedback. It’s a healthier way to communicate and a sure step towards earning respect.
6) Body shaming
We live in a diverse world filled with people of all shapes and sizes, each beautiful in their own unique way. Sadly, society often promotes a certain body type as ‘ideal’, leading to a pervasive culture of body shaming.
Whether it’s a casual comment about someone’s weight or a joke made at someone else’s expense, body shaming is never okay. It’s hurtful, disrespectful, and can lead to serious self-esteem issues for the person on the receiving end.
In my heart, I believe that everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their own skin without fear of judgment or ridicule. Respect comes from recognizing this diversity and celebrating it rather than belittling it.
7) Disliking popular things
We’ve all been there. You’re in a group, and everyone is raving about the latest popular show, movie, or book. But you just don’t get the hype. You didn’t enjoy it, maybe you didn’t even bother to watch or read it.
I once shared my lack of interest in a popular TV series at a party. The conversation took a dramatic turn, and I suddenly found myself on the receiving end of surprised looks and teasing comments. It wasn’t a big deal, but it did create a moment of discomfort and made me feel slightly alienated.
Expressing your dislike for something popular can sometimes be perceived as an attempt to appear different or superior. It’s not always fair, but it’s a reality that can affect how people perceive and respect you.
It’s important to remember that everyone has their own tastes and preferences. There’s no harm in not following the crowd. But it’s equally crucial to express your differing opinions respectfully without demeaning what others enjoy.
8) Excessive self-deprecation
Humility is a virtue, and being able to laugh at ourselves is a positive trait. However, consistently putting yourself down in conversations can lead to a decrease in respect from others.
While it might seem like you’re just being modest or making light of your mistakes, excessive self-deprecation can give the impression that you lack self-esteem or don’t value yourself. And if you don’t value yourself, why should others?
It’s a delicate balance. You want to come across as humble and down-to-earth, but not at the expense of your self-worth. Remember, respect starts with self-respect.
9) Constant interruptions
We all have moments when we’re eager to share our thoughts or add to a conversation, but constantly interrupting others can come across as disrespectful.
An important part of any conversation is listening. By interrupting, you’re essentially saying that what you have to say is more important than what the other person is expressing. This can lead to feelings of frustration and resentment, and ultimately, a loss of respect.
When you find yourself eager to jump in, take a moment, and let the other person finish. Your patience and respect for their words will be appreciated and reciprocated.
10) Unwanted advice
Listening to someone doesn’t always mean you need to give advice. Sometimes, people just need to vent, to express their feelings without looking for solutions.
Jumping in with unsolicited advice can come across as presumptuous or condescending, like you’re assuming they can’t figure things out on their own. It’s a sure way to lose respect.
Everyone’s journey is unique. What worked for you might not work for them. So, unless asked, resist the urge to advise. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply listen and empathize.
