Marriage is often seen as the ultimate hallmark of happiness. A societal gold standard that, once achieved, ensures lifelong joy and contentment.
But I’ve found that the key to a happy marriage doesn’t lie in rushing to the altar. Instead, it lies in embracing the journey of singlehood until you meet someone who truly aligns with your values, your dreams, and your essence.
Here’s my take on it: If you want to be truly happy when you get married, stay single until you meet someone with these 7 traits.
1) Authenticity is non-negotiable
In our quest for love, we often compromise on authenticity. We morph into what we believe our partners want us to be, suppressing our true selves in the process.
But I’ve come to realize that authenticity is non-negotiable. True happiness in marriage comes when you and your partner can be your genuine selves without fear of judgment or rejection.
This requires courage—to show up as you are, to communicate your needs and desires honestly, and to confront the fears that may hold you back from doing so.
Staying single until you find someone who appreciates your authenticity is a commitment to yourself. It’s a declaration that you value your unique essence and refuse to settle for anything less than a partner who does too.
2) Resilience is paramount
Life is filled with ups and downs. It’s not a walk in the park, and neither is marriage. There will be moments of joy, but there will also be trials and tribulations that test your bond.
A partner with resilience—one who can face adversity, learn from it, and bounce back stronger—is invaluable. They won’t be easily broken by difficulties. Instead, they’ll adapt, evolve, and use these experiences to deepen your connection.
I’ve learned this through my own experiences. When faced with adversity, my resilience has been a beacon of hope and strength, not just for me, but for those around me too.
And as Maya Angelou once said, “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” Seek a partner who embodies this spirit of resilience because resilience, truly, is paramount.
3) Embrace the journey of self-discovery
One of the most essential relationships you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. It shapes your interactions with others, including your future partner. A commitment to self-discovery and personal growth can transform your approach to relationships.
This is something I’ve learned from shaman Rudá Iandê in his masterclass, “The Art of Love and Intimacy“. It’s a powerful resource that demystifies the concept of the perfect partner and ideal relationship, grounding you in reality and encouraging you to embrace the present.
One of the key exercises in this masterclass reveals how our external relationships mirror our internal relationship with ourselves. This insight puts you in control of your personal development, reinforcing the importance of personal responsibility, authentic connections, and mutual respect.
The masterclass challenges societal conditioning around love and intimacy, empowering you to break free from toxic relationship cycles and limiting beliefs. By aligning financial decisions with personal values, it reinforces the importance of ethical participation in the economy.
Checking out this free masterclass can be a transformative step towards building fulfilling and authentic relationships. Take charge of your personal growth journey today.
4) Emotional independence is key
Being emotionally dependent on your partner for happiness is a recipe for disaster. The pressure it puts on both individuals can strain the relationship and lead to resentment and dissatisfaction.
Emotional independence, on the other hand, allows you to maintain your individuality within the relationship, ensuring that your happiness isn’t contingent on someone else.
I’ve learned that it’s essential to create space for my own feelings, interests, and pursuits in a relationship. It’s not about being distant or detached but about recognizing that two whole, independent individuals make a healthier and happier union than two halves trying to complete each other.
This ties back to Rudá Iandê’s teachings in his masterclass, where he emphasizes the importance of emotional independence in cultivating deeper, more meaningful connections.
How can you foster emotional independence while nurturing a loving, intimate relationship? It’s worth pondering over.
5) Money is a tool, not a determinant
In our society, wealth is often seen as a mark of success, and it can creep into our relationships, influencing our choices in partners.
But I’ve found that money—while important—is not the determinant of a successful relationship. It’s a tool that can be used to create experiences and opportunities, but it’s not the foundation of love and happiness.
True prosperity in a relationship lies in aligning financial decisions with your deepest values. It’s about using money as a tool for positive change, not as a measure of worth or success.
A partner who understands this—who sees beyond the bank balance and appreciates the richness of shared experiences, mutual respect, and authentic connection—is worth waiting for.
Remember, money can buy comfort, but it cannot buy the genuine connection and shared values at the heart of a truly prosperous relationship.
6) Embrace the power of vulnerability
Vulnerability often gets a bad rap. It’s seen as a sign of weakness, something to be avoided. But I’ve come to realize that vulnerability is a strength. It’s a testament to our humanity, our capacity to feel deeply and connect genuinely.
In a relationship, vulnerability allows for deeper emotional intimacy. It’s about opening up, sharing your fears, dreams, and insecurities, and accepting your partner’s with empathy and understanding.
Finding someone who not only accepts but cherishes your vulnerability is crucial. It can be terrifying to open up and show your authentic self—flaws and all—but it’s an essential component of a fulfilling relationship.
Vulnerability is not a weakness—it’s a superpower that fosters authentic connection and deep emotional intimacy in a relationship.
Sharing your life with someone doesn’t just mean sharing the present—it also means sharing a vision for the future. Where do you see yourselves in ten, twenty, thirty years? What are your shared dreams and aspirations?
A partner who shares your vision for the future—who wants to build the same kind of life that you do—is invaluable. This shared vision can serve as a guiding light, helping you navigate challenges and make decisions aligned with your mutual goals.
Remember, a shared vision for the future is not just about romanticizing the days ahead—it’s about aligning your actions and decisions today with the life you want to create together.
Embrace your journey towards authentic love
In our exploration of finding true happiness in marriage, we’ve underscored the importance of staying single until you meet someone who aligns with your values, appreciates your authenticity, and shares your vision for the future.
We’ve learned that authentic love requires emotional independence, resilience, and vulnerability. It’s about seeing money as a tool and not a determinant of success or worth. It’s about embracing the journey of self-discovery and personal growth.
These insights are not just about waiting for the perfect partner but also about cultivating the best version of ourselves. They remind us that the path to a fulfilling relationship starts within us.
For those ready to delve deeper into these principles, I highly recommend joining Rudá Iandê’s free masterclass on “The Art of Love and Intimacy“. This insightful course will help you move away from societal myths about love and intimacy and ground you in reality.
The masterclass offers practical tools to understand how your relationships mirror your internal state, enabling you to take control of your personal development. It aligns perfectly with the understanding we’ve gleaned here, leading you towards more meaningful relationships and personal growth.
Dive into this transformative masterclass today. It is a step forward in nurturing authentic connections and fostering a deeper understanding of yourself—an invaluable preparation for a truly happy marriage.
