We all want to be respected and admired as we get older.
But the truth is, it doesn’t just happen automatically—it’s shaped by the way we carry ourselves and the habits we hold onto.
Some habits make us more confident, thoughtful, and influential.
Others, though? They quietly push people away, making it harder for them to see us in the light we want.
If we want to grow into our best selves and build strong relationships along the way, it’s time to recognize the habits that no longer serve us—and let them go:
1) Always needing to be right
Nobody likes being wrong—it stings.
But if you make it a habit to always prove your point, correct others, or refuse to admit mistakes, people will start seeing you as stubborn rather than wise.
Respect doesn’t come from being right all the time.
It comes from being open-minded, willing to learn, and secure enough to acknowledge when you’re wrong.
The more you let go of the need to “win” every conversation, the more others will admire you for your humility and growth mindset.
2) Brushing off other people’s feelings
I used to think I was being helpful when I told people to “just let it go” or “it’s not a big deal.”
In my mind, I was offering perspective, trying to help them move on.
But over time, I noticed that people stopped opening up to me.
A friend once told me, “I don’t feel heard when I talk to you.”
That hit me hard.
I realized that by downplaying their feelings, I wasn’t helping—I was making them feel dismissed.
People respect and admire those who truly listen and validate their emotions.
3) Talking more than you listen
Most people spend about 60% of their conversations talking about themselves.
It feels good—it activates the same brain regions associated with pleasure and reward.
But while talking might make you feel good, listening is what makes others respect and appreciate you.
Most people are naturally drawn to those who make them feel heard and understood.
If you want to be admired as you get older, focus on asking questions, showing genuine interest, and truly absorbing what others have to say instead of just waiting for your turn to speak.
4) Holding grudges
We’ve all been hurt by someone at some point.
Carrying that resentment around doesn’t just affect your happiness—it also affects how others see you.
People who hold grudges tend to come across as bitter or stuck in the past, while those who let go of resentment are seen as mature, confident, and emotionally strong.
Forgiveness isn’t about excusing bad behavior; it’s about freeing yourself from negativity and showing others that you value peace over prolonged conflict.
That’s something people deeply respect.
5) Making everything about yourself
I used to think sharing my own experiences was the best way to connect with others.
If someone talked about a problem, I’d jump in with my similar story; if they shared an achievement, I’d mention something I had accomplished.
Later on, I realized this made conversations feel one-sided.
Instead of making people feel understood, I was unintentionally shifting the focus back to me.
People admire those who can step outside of themselves and give others the space to be seen and heard.
The more you make conversations about them—not just you—the more respected and valued you’ll become.
6) Always trying to please everyone
It seems like being agreeable and saying “yes” to everything would make people like and respect you more.
However, in reality, it often has the opposite effect.
When you constantly put others’ needs ahead of your own, people might appreciate the convenience—but they don’t always admire it.
Over time, they may even take you for granted.
Respect comes from having boundaries, standing by your values, and being okay with the fact that not everyone will always be happy with you.
Ironically, the more you prioritize self-respect, the more others will respect you too.
7) Refusing to change
It’s easy to stick with what feels familiar—your routines, your opinions, your way of doing things.
Yet the people who are most respected as they age aren’t the ones who cling to the past; they’re the ones who stay open to growth.
When you resist change, you risk becoming out of touch, rigid, or even difficult to relate to; when you embrace new ideas, adapt to challenges, and continue learning, people admire your willingness to evolve.
Those who embrace it earn the respect of everyone around them.
8) Not valuing your own time
If you don’t respect your own time, no one else will either.
Saying yes to things you don’t want to do, letting people interrupt your priorities, or constantly putting yourself last sends a message—you don’t see your time as valuable.
And if you don’t, why should anyone else?
The people who are most respected and admired set clear boundaries, prioritize what truly matters, and don’t apologize for protecting their time.
Letting go of what holds you back
Respect and admiration aren’t about being perfect—they come from the way you carry yourself, the way you treat others, and the habits you choose to keep or leave behind.
As the saying goes, “We first make our habits, then our habits make us.”
The good news? You have control over which ones shape your future.
Letting go of these habits isn’t just about how others see you—it’s about becoming someone you can be proud of.
That’s what truly earns respect.
