Getting happier as we age is not about adding things to our lives, but often about letting go of certain traits.
My name’s Lachlan Brown, and as the founder of Hack Spirit and a mindfulness enthusiast, I’ve learned that happiness often comes from freeing ourselves from unhelpful patterns.
In this article, we’ll talk about 10 traits you might want to say goodbye to as you get older if your goal is to cultivate more joy and contentment.
It’s not about becoming a different person overnight, but about gradual changes that can lead to a happier, more fulfilling life.
Let’s dive in.
1) Dwelling on the past
As we age, it’s easy to get caught up in the past. We might ruminate on regrets, mistakes or missed opportunities.
But as a mindfulness practitioner, I can tell you that dwelling on the past is a surefire way to dampen your happiness. Instead of focusing on what’s already happened, mindfulness encourages us to live in the present moment.
It’s not about forgetting the past, but rather letting go of the emotional weight that it carries. Remember, you can’t change what has happened, but you can control how you react to it.
If you want to boost your happiness as you get older, start by saying goodbye to dwelling on the past. It’s time to focus on the present and look forward to what’s yet to come.
2) Resisting change
Change is a natural part of life. It’s inevitable and constant. I’ve found that as I grow older, my ability to handle change significantly impacts my happiness.
In Buddhism, one of the key teachings is that everything is in a state of flux. Holding onto things as they are often leads to suffering because we’re fighting against the natural flow of life.
Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned mindfulness teacher, once said: “For things to reveal themselves to us, we need to be ready to abandon our views about them.”
If we resist change, we’re not allowing ourselves to see the beauty and potential in new situations.
3) Comparing yourself to others
One trap I’ve seen many of us fall into, myself included, is the habit of comparing ourselves to others. It’s a trait that’s not only unhelpful but can also be destructive to our happiness.
As we age, it’s easy to look at our peers and feel like we’re falling behind or not achieving as much. But remember, everyone has their own unique journey and pace. Comparing your Chapter 10 to someone else’s Chapter 20 doesn’t make any sense.
As the founder of Hack Spirit, I’ve learned that happiness comes from embracing our own path and appreciating our own progress.
4) Neglecting self-care
We’ve all heard the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” And it’s absolutely true. As we age, it becomes even more important to prioritize self-care, both physically and mentally.
Self-care is not just about spa days or indulging in a favorite treat. It’s about taking care of our overall well-being. This can include regular exercise, maintaining a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, practicing mindfulness or simply taking time out for hobbies and activities we love.
Remember what the Dalai Lama once said: “Happiness is the highest form of health.” Taking care of ourselves is not selfish; it’s essential for our happiness.
5) Ignoring your passions
In my journey towards building a happier life, I’ve discovered that pursuing what truly ignites my passion is essential.
Often, as we age, we might sideline our interests or passions due to responsibilities or societal expectations. But ignoring what makes us feel alive can lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
In her book A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World, Life Transition coach Jeanette Brown emphasizes the importance of pursuing our passions and interests as a way to cultivate happiness and fulfillment. She offers practical strategies and exercises that can help us reconnect with our passion and purpose.
As we get older, let’s not ignore our passions. Instead, let’s make space for them in our lives, because they are key to building a happier life.
6) Holding onto grudges
Holding onto grudges or resentment is like carrying a heavy weight. It not only drains our energy but also clouds our ability to find happiness.
As we age, it’s important to learn the art of forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or condoning wrong actions. It means deciding to let go of the bitterness and resentment for our own peace of mind.
If you’re holding onto a grudge, consider letting it go. You might be surprised at how much lighter and happier you feel when you release that unnecessary burden.
7) Lack of mindfulness
In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle and forget to stop and smell the roses. As a mindfulness practitioner, I’ve learned that being present in the moment greatly contributes to our happiness.
Mindfulness isn’t just about meditation. It’s also about savoring the small moments, appreciating the beauty around us, and really listening when someone is speaking.
As we grow older, it’s more important than ever to slow down and be mindful of our experiences. So let’s say goodbye to rushing through life without taking the time to truly experience it. Let’s welcome mindfulness for a happier existence.
8) Fear of failure
Fear of failure can hold us back from trying new things, taking risks, and ultimately, from growing.
As we age, it’s important to remember that failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of the journey to success. Famed inventor Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Don’t let fear of failure stop you from pursuing what you want. Embrace it as a learning opportunity and a stepping stone towards your goals. Say goodbye to fear of failure and hello to growth and potential.
9) Chasing happiness
This might sound counterintuitive, but one of the traits we need to let go of to get happier as we age is the constant pursuit of happiness itself.
In my personal journey and in founding Hack Spirit, I’ve learned that happiness isn’t a destination we arrive at. Instead, it’s a by-product of living a meaningful, fulfilling life.
When we’re constantly chasing happiness, we’re often missing out on the joy that can be found in the present moment. Letting go of the chase allows us to appreciate what we have right now.
Let’s say goodbye to constantly chasing happiness and instead focus on living a life aligned with our values and passions. Happiness will follow.
10) Overcomplicating things
As we grow older, it’s easy to overcomplicate things. We might overthink decisions, overanalyze situations, or set unrealistic expectations for ourselves.
But simplicity often leads to happiness. It reduces stress, declutters our mind, and helps us focus on what truly matters.
So, the next time you find yourself complicating a situation, take a step back. Ask yourself what the simplest solution or course of action might be.
Conclusion
Growing happier as we age isn’t about adding things to our life, but letting go of certain traits that may be holding us back. Whether it’s dwelling on the past or overcomplicating things, it’s these habits that can cloud our pursuit of happiness.
Remember, it’s a journey, not a destination. Small steps can lead to big changes over time.
For more practical strategies to cultivate happiness and fulfillment as you navigate through life, I highly recommend Jeanette Brown’s book A Toolkit for Building a Happier Life in a Messy World. It’s an insightful guide that can help you build a happier life in this messy and beautiful world we live in.
Here’s to growing happier as we grow older!
