As the founder of Hack Spirit and a keen enthusiast of mindfulness, I’ve come to realize that our personal value isn’t just about what we do, but also about what we don’t. It’s the behaviors we shed that often make the most difference.
Think about it. There are certain habits or behaviors that, once ditched, can instantly elevate your worth in your own eyes and those of others.
In this article, I’m going to highlight seven behaviors you need to say goodbye to if you want to immediately increase your value as a person.
Trust me, it’s not as daunting as it sounds. So let’s dive right in!
1) Dwelling on the past
It’s human nature to look back and ponder on past events, decisions, or actions. But when it becomes a pattern, it can hinder personal growth and lower your value as a person.
By constantly dwelling on the past, you are essentially living in a time that no longer exists. This prevents you from fully engaging with the present and can make you seem distant or disinterested to those around you.
Letting go of past mistakes, failures, and regrets is an important step in increasing your personal worth.
This doesn’t mean ignoring them, but rather learning from them and using that knowledge to improve your present and future actions.
Remember, the past cannot be changed, but your present actions can shape a better future. As the famous psychologist Carl Jung once said, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
2) Constantly seeking approval
Now, this is a trap I’ve once fallen into myself. Seeking approval from others is an easy habit to get into, but a tough one to break.
I remember a time when I would constantly find myself adjusting my opinions or actions based on what I thought others wanted to see or hear. Not only was it exhausting, but it also made me lose sight of my own values and beliefs.
Eventually, I realised that this constant need for validation was not only impacting my self-esteem, but it was also lowering my value as a person in the eyes of others.
After all, how can you respect someone who doesn’t respect their own thoughts and feelings?
Saying goodbye to this behavior was not easy, but it was necessary. And let me tell you, the freedom that comes from being true to yourself and not being constantly tied down by the opinion of others is truly liberating.
As they say, “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.” So cherish your uniqueness and let go of the constant need for approval.
3) Living with a bloated ego
We all have an ego. It’s a part of our human nature.
But when this ego becomes inflated to the point where it begins overshadowing our actions, decisions, and relationships, it can be a big problem.
People are naturally drawn to humility and authenticity, but an oversized ego pushes them away. It can make you seem unreachable, even unapproachable, as others may feel that you’re more focused on yourself than on meaningful interactions.
This in turn decreases your value as a person in the eyes of others.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve into the importance of keeping your ego in check and living a life that is driven by impact rather than self-importance.
By stepping back from ego-driven behavior, you open up to constructive criticism, acknowledge your flaws, and grow from your experiences.
This shift not only enhances your relationships but also boosts your value as a person, as people recognize the honesty and openness you bring into each interaction.
4) Avoiding difficult conversations
Let’s face it, difficult conversations are… well, difficult. They involve confrontation, potential conflict, and can be emotionally draining. But avoiding them altogether can significantly reduce your value as a person.
Psychologically speaking, this avoidance is often driven by a fear of conflict or rejection. But what it really does is create a barrier for open communication and the resolution of issues.
Engaging in difficult conversations shows emotional maturity and the ability to handle challenging situations. It fosters trust and respect in personal and professional relationships.
So how do you move past this avoidance behavior? Start small. Practice having honest conversations with those you trust. Gradually build up your confidence to handle more difficult topics.
5) Being a ‘yes’ person
Now, you might think that saying ‘yes’ to everything makes you more likable, more valuable. It shows you’re helpful, accommodating, right? Well, not exactly.
Constantly agreeing to everything without considering your own capacity or needs can actually lower your value as a person.
Why? Because it can lead to burnout, stress, and resentment. It can also give others the impression that your time and effort are easily available, and thus, less valuable.
The truth is, learning to say ‘no’ when necessary is a sign of self-respect and strong boundaries. It shows that you value your own time and energy, which in turn increases your value in the eyes of others.
6) Neglecting self-care
In our busy lives, it’s all too easy to put ourselves last. We often neglect our own needs in the pursuit of caring for others or achieving our goals. But this behavior can actually decrease your value as a person.
When you neglect self-care, it’s not just your physical health that suffers. Your mental and emotional wellbeing takes a hit too. This can affect your productivity, relationships, and overall happiness.
Taking time for self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. When you take care of yourself, you’re better equipped to take care of others and pursue your goals effectively.
Aside from that, it tells everyone that you love yourself. Self-love sends a powerful message to those around you. It shows that you value yourself enough to invest in your own well-being, which naturally boosts your self-worth and how others perceive you.
7) Fearing failure
Fear of failure is something that can hold you back from reaching your full potential. When you’re afraid to fail, you limit yourself. You miss out on opportunities and experiences that could lead to growth and success.
Consider this: every time a choice needs to be made, the fear of failure looms large. It whispers in your ear, suggesting safer, less challenging paths. It’s easy to listen, to choose comfort over challenge. But every time we do, we lose a piece of our potential.
Here’s the truth: failure isn’t the enemy. It’s a teacher. It offers valuable lessons that can help shape us into better, stronger versions of ourselves.
Albert Einstein once said, “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” So don’t let the fear of failure diminish your value as a person. Embrace it as a stepping stone on the path to growth and success.
Conclusion
Increasing your value as a person isn’t about drastic changes—it’s about letting go of the subtle habits that hold you back from being the best version of yourself.
In my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve deeper into the art of self-improvement and how you can live a life with maximum impact.
By embracing these practices, you’ll not only increase your value but also discover a more fulfilling, balanced way of living.
