If you want your child to admire and respect you as they grow up, your actions matter just as much—if not more—than your words.
We all want to raise kids who look up to us, not just because we’re their parents, but because they genuinely respect the way we live our lives. But here’s the hard truth: some everyday behaviors can quietly chip away at that respect over time.
The good news? Once you recognize them, you can start making small but powerful changes. If you want to build a lasting, meaningful connection with your child, it might be time to say goodbye to these habits.
1) Breaking your promises
Kids remember more than we think.
When you promise to show up, to listen, or to keep your word—and then don’t follow through—it sends a clear message: your words don’t mean much. Over time, this can erode their trust in you, making it harder for them to take you seriously as they grow older.
Of course, life happens. Sometimes things get in the way. But if breaking promises becomes a habit, don’t be surprised if your child starts tuning you out or keeping their distance.
If you want their admiration and respect, show them that your word matters. Follow through, even on the little things.
2) Dismissing their feelings
I’ll never forget the time my child came to me, clearly upset, and I brushed it off without thinking. They were crying over something that, to me, seemed small—a lost toy, a rough day at school—but instead of listening, I said, “It’s not a big deal. You’ll be fine.”
I thought I was helping them toughen up. But the look on their face told me otherwise.
In that moment, I realized that by dismissing their emotions, I was teaching them that their feelings didn’t matter. And if they couldn’t trust me with the little things, how could they ever come to me with the big ones?
Respect isn’t just about authority—it’s about connection. If you want your child to admire you as they grow older, start by validating their emotions now. Listen, acknowledge, and show them that what they feel is important.
3) Never admitting when you’re wrong
Parents shape a child’s understanding of accountability more than anyone else in their life. When a parent refuses to admit mistakes, the child learns that power comes before honesty—and that apologizing is a sign of weakness.
But here’s the truth: the ability to own up to mistakes is one of the strongest traits a person can have. Studies show that leaders who admit their faults are viewed as more competent and trustworthy, not less. And in a parent-child relationship, that trust is everything.
If you lose your temper, make an unfair judgment, or say something hurtful, don’t just brush it under the rug. A simple “I was wrong, and I’m sorry” goes a long way in earning your child’s respect—not just now, but for years to come.
4) Enforcing rules you don’t follow
“Because I said so.”
We’ve all heard it before, and maybe even said it ourselves. But nothing makes a child lose respect faster than being expected to follow rules that their parents ignore.
If you tell them to be honest but they catch you lying, or you punish them for raising their voice while yelling at them in frustration, the message is clear: rules only apply when it’s convenient.
Kids are always watching. If you want them to respect you—not just obey you—live by the same expectations you set for them.
5) Criticizing more than encouraging
I used to think I was helping by pointing out every little mistake my child made. If their homework was messy, I’d tell them to redo it. If they didn’t do a chore exactly right, I’d correct them. I thought I was teaching them to do better.
But then I noticed something—when they succeeded at something, they barely looked to me for approval. They expected criticism, not encouragement. And that hit me hard.
No one thrives under constant judgment. If all a child hears is what they’re doing wrong, they’ll stop believing they can do anything right.
I had to learn to shift my focus—yes, guidance is important, but so is recognizing the effort they put in. If you want your child to respect you and value your opinion, make sure they hear your praise just as much as your corrections.
6) Solving all their problems for them
It feels like the right thing to do—stepping in when your child struggles, fixing things before they get too hard, making sure they don’t fail. After all, good parents protect their kids, right?
But here’s the thing: constantly rescuing them doesn’t earn their respect—it teaches them to rely on you instead of themselves.
Kids admire the people who give them the confidence to handle life on their own. If you always step in, they won’t see you as a strong leader—they’ll see you as a safety net they can’t function without.
Support them, guide them, but let them struggle sometimes. That’s how they grow—and how they learn to respect not just you, but also themselves.
7) Demanding respect instead of earning it
A title doesn’t automatically earn admiration. Just because you’re the parent doesn’t mean your child will respect you—you have to give them a reason to.
Sure, you can demand obedience through fear or authority, but that’s not the same as true respect. Real respect comes from how you treat them—how you listen, how you guide, and how you show up consistently.
Think about the people you admire most in life. Chances are, it’s not because they forced you to respect them—it’s because they led by example. If you want your child to look up to you as they grow older, focus less on controlling them and more on being someone worth admiring.
8) Not showing them respect
Respect is a two-way street. If you talk down to your child, dismiss their opinions, invade their privacy, or ignore their boundaries, don’t be surprised if they grow up resenting you instead of admiring you.
Kids learn how to treat others by how they’re treated. If you want them to respect you as they get older, start by showing them what real respect looks like now.
Earning your child’s respect starts with you
Respect isn’t something you can force—it’s something you earn through your actions every single day.
As parents, it’s easy to expect respect simply because of our role, but the truth is, children admire the people who show up for them, listen to them, and treat them with the same dignity they’re asked to give in return.
Because in the end, a child’s respect isn’t about power or authority—it’s about connection. And that’s something worth working for.
