When your kids look at you, they see a superhero. To them, you are invincible and infallible. But as they grow older, this image can start to crack if you’re not careful.
Parenting isn’t easy, and it’s even harder to maintain the respect of your children as they mature into their own individuals.
But it’s not impossible. There are certain behaviors that, if you let go of them now, can help preserve that respect and admiration.
In this article, I’m going to share some of these behaviors with you.
Because being a parent isn’t just about raising children, it’s about growing with them too. Let’s get started.
1) Cease the blame game
Blame is a tricky thing, isn’t it?
One moment you’re trying to teach your kid a lesson, and the next, you’re pointing fingers and assigning fault. It’s easy to fall into this trap, especially when you’re frustrated or tired.
But here’s the deal – blame doesn’t teach. It hurts.
When we blame our children for something that went wrong, all they feel is guilt and shame.
They don’t learn what they did wrong or how they can fix it. All they understand is that they’re at fault and that their parent is upset with them.
If you want your children to respect you as they grow older, let go of the blame game.
Instead, focus on teaching them how to take responsibility for their actions and how to make amends when things go wrong.
After all, respect is earned, not given. And what better way to earn it than by showing them that you’re there to guide them, not to blame them?
2) Losing the temper
I remember a time when my little boy left his toys all over the living room floor. It was a mess and I was already stressed from a long day at work.
I snapped, and in my frustration, I raised my voice at him.
The look on his face was enough to make me regret it instantly.
Anger, we all feel it. But losing our temper in front of our children affects them more than we think. It can cause fear, anxiety, and even resentment over time.
If you want to maintain your child’s respect as they grow older, it’s crucial to manage your anger effectively.
This doesn’t mean repressing your feelings, but rather expressing them in a calm and controlled manner.
We are their role models after all. The way we handle emotions is how they’ll learn to handle theirs.
3) Overstepping boundaries
Respect goes both ways. You want your children to respect you, but you should also respect them.
This includes respecting their boundaries. Did you know that children as young as three can begin to understand the concept of personal space?
It’s a fundamental part of their development and helps them build a sense of self.
If you constantly invade their privacy or dismiss their feelings, they may start to feel disrespected and undervalued. This can lead to them losing respect for you over time.
Teaching your children about boundaries – both theirs and yours – creates a mutual understanding and fosters a healthy relationship based on respect.
4) Being a poor listener
We’ve all been there, your child is excitedly recounting their day, and you’re nodding along but your mind is elsewhere.
This might seem harmless, but over time, it sends a message to your child that their words aren’t important or worth your full attention.
Listening is such a simple act, yet it’s incredibly powerful. It shows your child that you value their thoughts and feelings. It fosters trust and mutual respect.
The next time your child starts talking about their day, put down what you’re doing.
Look them in the eye and truly listen. It’s one of the most respectful things you can do.
5) Overpromising and underdelivering
I remember promising my daughter that we would go to the zoo over the weekend.
But then work got in the way and we never went. I saw the disappointment in her eyes and it broke my heart.
Promises are powerful things. They’re a sign of trust, a pact between two people.
And when you break that pact, especially with your child, it can really shake their faith in you.
I learned my lesson that day. Now, I’m mindful of the promises I make to my children. I try to only promise what I know I can deliver.
It’s heartbreaking to see your child disappointed, but it’s even worse to be the cause of that disappointment.
If you want to maintain your child’s respect as they grow older, be wary of overpromising and underdelivering. It’s always better to surprise them with something extra than to let them down.
6) Always being right
As parents, we often feel the need to have all the answers. After all, we’re the adults, right?
But sometimes, admitting that you don’t know something or that you were wrong can be a powerful lesson for your child.
It shows them that it’s okay not to know everything. It’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them. It’s about growth and humility.
Believe it or not, your child will respect you more for admitting your mistakes than for pretending to be perfect. Because let’s face it, no one is perfect.
And that’s perfectly okay.
7) Lack of consistency
Consistency is key in many areas of life, and parenting is no exception.
Whether it’s sticking to the rules you’ve set or following through on the consequences, being consistent shows your child that you are reliable and trustworthy.
When you constantly change the rules or let things slide, it can confuse your child and make them question your credibility.
This inconsistency can lead to a lack of respect.
Your actions speak louder than your words. If you want your child to respect you as they grow older, be consistent in your actions and decisions.
It will provide them with a sense of security and reinforce their respect for you.
8) Neglecting self-care
The most important person in your child’s life is you. And if you’re not taking care of yourself, it’s going to be hard to take care of them in the way they deserve.
Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days.
It’s about taking care of your mental, emotional, and physical health. It’s about setting boundaries, saying no when you need to, and prioritizing your own well-being.
When you neglect self-care, it can lead to stress, burnout, and resentment – all things that can affect your relationship with your child.
But when you take care of yourself, you’re showing your child that you value yourself. And that’s a powerful lesson in self-respect.
If you want your child to respect you as they grow older, start by respecting yourself. Because at the end of the day, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
In conclusion
If you’ve made it to the end of this article, hopefully you’ve realized that respect isn’t about authority or power. It’s about understanding, empathy, and mutual growth.
Parenting is a journey of learning and unlearning. It’s about making mistakes and learning from them. It’s about growing with your child and becoming better for them.
And remember, your children don’t expect you to be perfect. They just need you to be present, to be consistent, and most importantly, to be human.
Take a moment to reflect on your behaviors and interactions with your children.
Remember that their respect for you is not a given, but something you earn every day through your actions and words.
Because at the end of the day, respect is not just about how others see you, but how you see yourself. And there’s nothing more important than that.
