If your grandkids roll their eyes when you show up, you know they’re bored. If they sigh when you talk, you know they’re uninterested.
Such is the reality of generational communication.
However, bridging this gap isn’t impossible. The human mind, especially that of the young, is wonderfully flexible. With some effort and understanding, we can adjust our behaviors to be more engaging to our grandchildren.
Some grandparents naturally have a knack for this, usually because they’ve ditched these eight specific behaviors.
Here’s a shortcut to becoming the grandparent your grandkids can’t wait to hang out with. Let’s dive in.
1) Letting your judgments show
We’ve all been there.
It’s easy to slip into a habit of passing judgments, especially when it comes to the younger generation.
Their choices, their lifestyle, their priorities – everything seems so different, and not always in a way we understand or agree with.
Here’s the thing though – kids can sense judgment. They can feel it when their choices are scrutinized, their interests dismissed, or their lifestyle criticized.
This creates a barrier, a wall they put up to protect themselves from disappointment and disapproval.
If you want your grandkids to look forward to spending time with you, it’s essential to keep your judgments in check.
Accept them for who they are and what they love and you’ll see how much more open they become around you.
Remember, acceptance is the first step towards connection. And isn’t that what we all want at the end of the day?
2) Dominating the conversation
I’ve learned this one the hard way.
Once, during a family get-together, I got carried away talking about my heydays. I shared stories of my adventures, my experiences, and my achievements, thinking it would amuse my grandkids.
But looking at their bored expressions and distracted demeanors, I realized I was wrong.
That’s when it hit me – dominating the conversation isn’t the way to connect with them. They’re not just passive listeners in our relationship.
They have their own stories to tell, their experiences to share, and their worldviews to express.
From then on, I made a conscious effort to listen more and talk less. To ask about their day, their interests, and their dreams.
And you know what? Their faces lit up like never before.
Inclusion is key. Give them the space to express themselves and they’ll eagerly look forward to spending time with you.
3) Resisting change
Change is the only constant in life. We’ve all heard it, but how often do we truly embrace it?
It’s so easy to get stuck in our ways, especially as we age. The problem is, today’s world is evolving faster than ever.
Consider this, the average teenager today spends up to nine hours a day consuming media, often on several devices at once.
This is a far cry from the days of a single landline phone and a few hours of television.
If you’re resistant to this change, you risk becoming an outsider in your grandchild’s world. Instead, try to understand their digitally native landscape.
Show interest in their favorite apps or games. Learn about the music they listen to or the YouTube channels they follow.
By embracing change and showing curiosity about their world, you’ll not only bridge the generational gap but also become someone they look forward to spending time with.
4) Forgetting to be present
In this fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in our thoughts or worries. We often find ourselves physically present but mentally miles away.
This is especially true when we’re around those we’re comfortable with, like our family.
But here’s the thing – kids can sense when you’re not fully there. They can tell when your nods are automatic, your smiles forced, and your responses absent-minded.
This can create a sense of distance and make them feel like they’re not worth your complete attention.
To build a bond that makes your grandkids look forward to spending time with you, make an effort to be truly present.
Listen carefully to their stories, react genuinely to their jokes, and engage wholeheartedly in their activities.
Remember, genuine presence is the best present you can give them.
5) Ignoring their interests
I’ll admit, I’ve been guilty of this.
There was a time when I couldn’t understand my grandson’s fascination with superheroes.
He would chatter away about the latest Marvel movie or the new comic book he was reading, and I’d just nod along, not really engaging or showing interest.
One day, I noticed a hint of disappointment in his eyes. That’s when it hit me – by ignoring his interests, I was inadvertently ignoring a part of him.
So, I decided to give it a shot. I watched a couple of superhero movies, read some comic books he had left lying around.
And you know what? It wasn’t half bad. More importantly, it gave us a common ground, something we could talk about and bond over.
In hindsight, I realize that it’s not about liking what they like. It’s about acknowledging and valuing their interests. The moment I did that, our relationship took a turn for the better.
Show interest in what they love. Trust me, it goes a long way.
6) Trying too hard to be cool
Imagine this – you start using their slang, wearing trendy clothes, and listening to their kind of music, all in an attempt to fit into their world. Sounds like a good idea, right?
Well, not quite.
While it’s important to understand their world, trying too hard to be ‘cool’ can often backfire. Kids have a sharp sense of authenticity and can easily tell when someone is being insincere or fake.
The key lies in being yourself. Authenticity has a charm of its own and speaks louder than any trendy slang or fashionable attire.
It’s about finding the balance between understanding their world and staying true to who you are.
Remember, your grandkids don’t need another friend from their generation; they need their grandparent. So, be genuine, be you.
7) Neglecting to set boundaries
Yes, you want your grandkids to like you. Yes, you want them to look forward to spending time with you.
But that doesn’t mean you should let them walk all over you.
In my experience, kids respect those who respect themselves. And part of self-respect is setting boundaries.
It’s about letting them know what behavior is acceptable and what isn’t.
Don’t be afraid to say no when necessary. Don’t hesitate to express your discomfort if they cross a line.
By doing so, you’re not only teaching them respect but also giving them a safe structure within which they can interact.
And guess what? Kids thrive in environments with clear boundaries. They feel more secure and tend to be more respectful in return.
Setting boundaries doesn’t make you any less likable. On the contrary, it makes you a grandparent they not only love but also respect.
8) Forgetting the power of unconditional love
At the end of the day, nothing beats the power of unconditional love. It’s the foundation upon which every successful relationship is built.
It’s that one constant that can bridge any gap, heal any wound, and connect any hearts.
Your grandkids don’t need you to be perfect. They don’t need you to know all the answers or always say the right things.
What they need is to feel your love – genuine, unwavering, and unconditional.
Through all the ups and downs, through all the disagreements and misunderstandings, let love be your guiding light. Let it shine through in your words, your actions, and your presence.
Because when you love unconditionally, you create a bond so strong that your grandkids won’t just look forward to spending time with you, they’ll cherish it.
Embracing the role of a grandparent
As we conclude, I hope you’ve found some valuable insights in these guidelines.
Being a grandparent isn’t about playing a role. It’s about understanding, connecting, and creating a bond that’s uniquely yours and your grandchild’s.
It’s about embracing change while staying true to yourself.
It has been said that the beauty of grandchildren is that they are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.
This beautiful relationship is a two-way street, filled with mutual respect, love, and understanding.
In your quest to be a grandparent your grandkids look forward to spending time with, remember to be yourself.
Listen, understand, respect their world, but most importantly, love them unconditionally. Because at the end of the day, love is the universal language that transcends all barriers – age included.
Here’s to being not just a grandparent they love spending time with but also their safe haven, their confidant, and their most cherished friend.
