There’s a stark difference between appearing successful and actually being successful.
The difference boils down to reality. Pretending to be successful is a facade, a show to convince others of a status that isn’t real.
Being truly successful, however, is a reality that doesn’t need any convincing or pretense.
Men who pretend to be successful but are secretly broke tend to exhibit certain subtle behaviors. And those of us with a keen eye can pick up on these signs.
In this article, I’ll share 10 subtle behaviors these men usually display.
Let’s get started.
1) Overcompensating through material possessions
We all love nice things, but there’s a difference between having nice things and using them as a smokescreen for success.
Men who pretend to be successful but are actually broke often splurge on flashy possessions. They tend to buy designer clothes, luxury cars, and expensive gadgets.
The idea is simple. By showcasing these high-value items, they hope to create an illusion of wealth and success.
But the truth is, genuine success doesn’t need flaunting. Successful people are secure in their accomplishments and don’t need material possessions to validate their worth.
If you notice someone constantly showing off their expensive purchases or boasting about their extravagant lifestyle, it might be a sign of pretense rather than actual success.
2) Frequent job changes
There’s a saying that goes, “Wherever you go, there you are.” This rings true in my personal experience with a friend who, on the surface, seemed to be quite successful.
He was always talking about his latest job, always at some big-name company or startup. His LinkedIn profile was like a revolving door of positions and companies. On the surface, it looked impressive.
But once you dug a little deeper, things started to look different. You see, he never stayed in one place for more than a few months. While job hopping isn’t necessarily a bad thing, his inability to hold down a job for a significant amount of time raised some red flags.
This constant movement indicates instability and could be masking financial struggles. Real success often comes with stability and growth over time, not constant change.
3) Dodging discussions about finances
It’s no secret – money is a sensitive topic. But men who pretend to be successful while actually being broke often go out of their way to avoid financial discussions.
Whether it’s about investments, savings, or even general money management, they might steer the conversation elsewhere or offer vague answers. It’s a subtle way to avoid revealing the truth about their financial status.
When pressed about specific financial details, they often deflect with grandiose but noncommittal statements like “I have my investments working for me” or “My portfolio is quite diverse.”
These vague pronouncements serve a dual purpose – they maintain the illusion of wealth while providing no verifiable information.
More tellingly, they may quickly change the subject to material possessions that create an appearance of success, like their car or watch, rather than discussing the actual numbers behind their financial health.
Networking is important, no doubt. It helps build relationships and can open doors for career opportunities. But there’s a line between healthy networking and excessive socializing.
Men who pretend to be successful but are actually broke often overdo networking. They’re at every event, every party, every gathering – making sure they’re seen and making as many connections as possible.
The reason behind this is simple: the more people they know, the wider their social net, the more successful they appear.
But success isn’t just about who you know. It’s about what you do and how well you do it. If someone is constantly socializing but lacks substance or results in their work, it might be a sign that they’re overcompensating.
5) Living beyond their means
One of the most common behaviors of men who pretend to be successful but are actually broke is living beyond their means. They’re often found indulging in luxurious lifestyles that they can’t afford to maintain.
This typically involves spending on credit, resulting in a pile of debt behind the scenes. It’s not uncommon for these individuals to max out their credit cards or even take out loans to finance their extravagant lifestyles.
These individuals often prioritize visible status symbols – the latest iPhone, designer clothes, or luxury car leases – while neglecting invisible but crucial financial foundations like emergency savings or retirement planning.
They might share photos of expensive restaurant meals on social media while quietly skipping insurance payments or accumulating late fees on bills.
The irony is, living beyond one’s means is a surefire way to remain broke. True wealth is created by spending less than you earn and investing the difference wisely.
6) A constant need for validation
Everyone enjoys a pat on the back or a word of praise. But for men pretending to be successful, validation becomes a lifeline.
I’ve seen people who constantly seek approval and praise from others, always wanting to be in the spotlight. Their self-worth is tied to how others perceive them, and this can be draining, not just for them but for the people around them as well.
It’s important to understand that real success comes from within. It’s about being content with who you are and what you’ve achieved, regardless of what others think. It’s about finding fulfillment in your work and your life, not in the opinions of others.
If you notice someone who constantly needs others to acknowledge their success, it might indicate that they’re trying to convince themselves as much as they’re trying to convince you.
7) Reluctance to invest in themselves
There was a time when I noticed that a guy I knew, who was always flaunting his “success,” never seemed to invest in himself. He was always up for buying rounds at the bar or getting the latest tech gadget, but when it came to investing in personal growth, he shied away.
Opportunities for self-improvement – whether it’s attending a seminar, buying books or courses, or even taking time off for mental health – were always met with excuses.
This reluctance to invest in oneself can be a sign of pretending to be successful. Those who are truly successful understand the value of self-investment. They know that their greatest asset is themselves, and they constantly strive to improve and grow.
8) Avoiding small financial responsibilities
You might think that those who flaunt success wouldn’t hesitate to pick up the tab at a restaurant or chip in for a group gift. But surprisingly, this isn’t always the case.
Men who pretend to be successful but are actually broke often avoid small financial responsibilities. They might conveniently forget their wallet, argue over splitting the bill equally, or be the last to contribute to group expenses.
It’s an odd behavior, considering they’re usually the ones showing off their expensive purchases. But when it comes to these small financial responsibilities, they suddenly become frugal.
If you notice this behavior in someone who otherwise portrays a successful image, it might be a sign that their financial situation isn’t as rosy as they make it seem. Genuine success includes being responsible and generous, not just with big purchases but with everyday expenses too.
9) Overly focused on appearances
Appearances can be deceiving – especially when it comes to feigning success. Men who pretend to be successful but are actually broke are often overly concerned with how they appear.
This might mean obsessing over their physical appearance, always needing to wear the latest fashion trends, or maintaining an extravagant lifestyle for the sake of appearances. They might spend more time and money on looking successful than on actually being successful.
It’s essential to remember that true success isn’t skin deep. It’s about character, integrity, hard work and consistency.
Success isn’t about looking the part; it’s about playing the part effectively and authentically.
10) Lack of long-term planning
The most revealing sign of men pretending to be successful but actually being broke is their lack of long-term planning.
They’re so engrossed in portraying the image of success that they neglect to plan for their financial future.
True success is about planning and thinking ahead. It involves setting financial goals, saving for retirement, investing wisely, and having a contingency plan for emergencies.
If someone is constantly living in the moment, splurging on luxuries without considering their future financial stability, they might be playing a charade.
Success isn’t just about enjoying the present; it’s also about securing the future.
