Navigating the parent-child relationship as your kids grow into adults can feel like a tricky balancing act.
You might find yourself asking: How can I maintain a strong bond without overstepping boundaries?
Experts say there are key behaviors that parents who share strong relationships with their adult children consistently practice.
These aren’t complicated, life-altering changes.
They’re simple, everyday actions that can significantly strengthen your bond.
This article will outline the seven things such parents do differently, according to experts.
It’s about finding equilibrium, understanding and respect in this evolving relationship.
The goal? To cultivate stronger, more meaningful connections with your adult children:
1) Open communication
Creating and maintaining a strong bond with your adult children can often feel like threading a needle.
What’s the secret? Experts say it all starts with open communication.
The importance of open, honest dialogue in maintaining strong parent-child relationships cannot be overstated.
Whether it’s about life decisions, personal struggles, or even mundane day-to-day happenings, communication is key.
Open communication isn’t just about speaking; it’s equally about listening.
It’s about hearing out your adult child without rushing to give advice or judgments; it’s about understanding their perspective and respecting their autonomy.
By keeping the lines of communication open and active, parents can continue to build trust and mutual respect with their adult children—a fundamental step towards a stronger relationship.
2) Respecting boundaries
As my son transitioned from a teenager to a young adult, I quickly realized that our relationship needed to evolve.
I had to strike a balance between being supportive and respecting his independence.
It was a learning curve, but I came to understand that respecting his boundaries was vital for our relationship.
Famed psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud once said, “Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me.”
This rings true in parent-adult child relationships.
As much as we love our children and want to be involved in their lives, we need to remember they are their own individuals with personal spaces that need to be respected.
For instance, letting my son make his own decisions—from his career path to his lifestyle choices—without imposing my expectations or desires, was crucial.
It wasn’t always easy, especially when I didn’t agree with his decisions.
By respecting his boundaries, our relationship has grown stronger and more open over the years.
3) Admitting mistakes
Have you ever had one of those moments where you realized you were wrong?
It’s a tough pill to swallow, especially as a parent.
We often feel that we need to be perfect role models for our children, even when they grow into adults.
The truth is: We’re human and we make mistakes.
Legendary psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The most damaging thing in the life of a child is the unlived life of the parent.”
This means that living authentically, including acknowledging our faults and failures, can have a profound impact on our adult children.
I remember when I wrongly accused my daughter of something she didn’t do.
It was easier to stick to my guns and insist I was right.
But deep down, I knew I was wrong.
Admitting my mistake was tough, but it was an essential step in showing her that I valued our relationship more than my pride.
By admitting our mistakes and apologizing sincerely, we not only teach our adult children about accountability but also foster a sense of mutual respect and trust.
It shows them that we’re human, we make mistakes, and it’s okay to admit it.
4) Being supportive
Having a supportive parent can make all the difference in an adult child’s life, but what does being supportive really mean?
Perceived parental supportiveness in childhood is associated with better psychological adjustment and less strain in parent-child relationships during adulthood.
This means that our actions as parents continue to have a significant impact on our children as they grow older.
Being supportive doesn’t mean that we need to agree with every decision our adult children make.
Instead, it’s about being there for them, showing empathy, and providing encouragement even when the going gets tough.
It’s about making them feel loved and valued unconditionally.
Remember, it’s about standing by their side, offering a listening ear, and guiding them when asked.
This kind of support can contribute significantly to the strength of your relationship with your adult child.
5) Investing time
The saying “quality over quantity” doesn’t always apply, especially when it comes to spending time with your adult children—both quality and quantity are essential.
One particular weekend, my daughter and I spent the entire day together.
We didn’t do anything extravagant; we just shared stories, laughed over old memories, and enjoyed each other’s company.
It was simple, but it significantly strengthened our bond.
Famous psychologist Erik Erikson once said, “Life doesn’t make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all.”
Investing time in your relationship with your adult children is a crucial part of this interdependence.
Whether it’s a quick call to check in on them or planning regular family gatherings, spending time together can help foster open communication, mutual understanding, and a deeper connection.
It’s about showing them that they are a priority in your life.
6) Letting them fail
It might sound counterintuitive, but letting your adult children fail can actually strengthen your relationship with them.
As parents, our instincts often drive us to swoop in and save the day whenever our children face challenges or difficulties.
However, the reality is, we won’t always be there to pick up the pieces.
This resilience often stems from experiencing failure and learning how to navigate through it.
When my son failed his driving test for the second time, my first instinct was to step in and give him pointers.
But I restrained myself; instead, I provided emotional support and let him figure out his next steps.
By doing so, he learnt a valuable lesson in resilience and self-reliance.
Letting our adult children experience failure allows them to learn vital life skills, grow as individuals and understand that it’s okay not to be perfect.
This approach can greatly enhance the trust and respect in your relationship.
7) Showing appreciation
Never underestimate the power of expressing genuine appreciation.
A simple “thank you” or “I’m proud of you” can go a long way.
It helps reinforce the bond and leaves a lasting positive impact.
Don’t hold back on showing your adult children how much you appreciate them.
This small gesture can make a world of difference in your relationship.
Final reflections
The journey of parenting doesn’t end when our children reach adulthood.
If anything, it evolves into a new phase, one that requires a delicate balance of respect, communication, and support.
These seven behaviors are not quick fixes or foolproof formulas.
They are small, everyday actions that require intention and effort—but their impact on the relationship between parents and their adult children can be profound.
Remember, strong relationships aren’t built overnight.
They are the result of consistent effort, mutual respect, and a whole lot of love.
As you navigate this journey with your adult children, remember to be patient with yourself and them.
