If your kid bounces back from adversity, you know they’re resilient; if they crumble at the first sign of difficulty, then not so much.
Raising resilient children is a goal for many parents, as resilience equips kids with the ability to navigate challenges and thrive despite adversity.
Parents who successfully cultivate this trait in their children often adopt specific practices that set them apart from others.
Still, some parents seem to have it down to a science; they raise kids who can weather any storm, kids who are built to last.
How do they do it?
Well, there are 8 things that these parents almost always do differently. And I’m going to tell you what they are.
1) They embrace failure
Failure is as unpredictable as emotions.
It stings, it burns, and it makes you feel like you’re not good enough. But just like emotions, failure is just a part of life, an essential part of growth.
Parents who raise highly resilient kids understand this. They don’t shy away from letting their kids experience failure. In fact, they see it as an opportunity.
An opportunity for their kids to learn, to grow, to become stronger.
They know that failure isn’t the end of the world—it’s just a stepping stone towards success.
2) They teach emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is no less important than academic excellence.
Trust me, I learned this the hard way!
When my daughter was five, she had a hard time making friends. She would come home from kindergarten with tear-stained cheeks, feeling left out and lonely.
I realized then that it wasn’t just about teaching her the ABCs and 123s. I needed to teach her how to understand, process, and express her feelings effectively.
We started small: identifying emotions in her favorite cartoons, discussing how she felt about different events throughout the day, and practicing empathy with her toys.
And guess what? It worked!
She learned to express herself better, understand others more deeply, and navigate social situations with more ease.
3) They set boundaries
Contrary to popular belief, boundaries don’t restrict kids – they empower them.
Setting boundaries creates a safe environment for children to explore their independence and make mistakes while still having a safety net to fall back on.
Research shows that kids who grow up with clear, consistent boundaries are more likely to develop into adults with strong self-discipline and self-control. They learn to respect others’ boundaries and understand the importance of personal space and consent.
Boundaries, when set correctly, aren’t limiting – they are liberating. And that’s a crucial aspect of raising resilient kids.
4) They practice active listening
Listening to your kids might seem like a given, but I’m not talking about just hearing their words. I’m talking about active listening.
Active listening is all about giving your full attention, showing interest, and responding in a way that encourages further communication. It involves more than just hearing – it’s about understanding.
Parents who raise highly resilient kids are masters of active listening. They show their kids that their thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter.
This builds trust, boosts self-esteem, and encourages them to express themselves freely.
5) They model resilience
I’ve always believed that the best way to teach is by example, and raising resilient kids is no exception.
When I face challenges, I make it a point to navigate through them with resilience, showing my kids that it’s okay to struggle and that bouncing back is part of the process.
I share my successes, but I also share my failures and how I overcame them. I let them see that even adults face adversity, and resilience is the key to overcoming it.
Modeling resilience doesn’t mean hiding your struggles from your kids; it means showing them how you handle those struggles with strength and grace.
It’s about being a real-life example of resilience in action!
6) They don’t rush to solve their kids’ problems
It’s natural to want to swoop in and fix everything when your child encounters a problem.
But what if I told you that doing so might do more harm than good?
Parents who raise highly resilient kids understand the value of letting their children tackle problems on their own. They provide support and guidance, but they also allow their children to experience the satisfaction and confidence boost that comes from solving a problem independently.
This doesn’t mean leaving your child high and dry—it means giving them the tools they need to handle life’s hurdles on their own, stepping in only when absolutely necessary.
7) They encourage a growth mindset
The power of “yet” is remarkable.
Parents who raise highly resilient kids understand the importance of a growth mindset. They encourage their kids to see challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than insurmountable obstacles.
Instead of “I can’t do this”, they teach their kids to say, “I can’t do this yet.”
This seemingly small shift in language can have a profound impact on a child’s attitude towards their abilities and potential.
Instilling a growth mindset in your child’s mind can help make them more resilient, adaptable, and open to facing life’s challenges head-on.
8) They show unconditional love
At the end of the day, nothing builds resilience more than unconditional love.
Parents who raise highly resilient kids make sure their children know they are loved and accepted for who they are, no matter what.
They provide a safe, loving environment where their kids can grow, make mistakes, and learn without fear of judgment or rejection.
Unconditional love fosters self-confidence, self-worth, and ultimately, resilience. It’s the foundation upon which all other parenting strategies are built.
Final thoughts
If you’ve made it this far, you’ll likely agree that raising resilient kids involves teaching them how to navigate adversity, not avoiding it.
Resilience isn’t about never falling down; it’s about getting back up.
The ability to bounce back from failures is one of the most valuable skills we can instill in our children.
Parents who raise resilient kids aren’t just nurturing strong individuals; they’re shaping future adults who can tackle life’s challenges with grace and perseverance.
Remember, parenting isn’t about perfection; it’s about providing love, guidance, and the tools your child needs to thrive.
As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said, “There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots; the other, wings.”
Here’s to raising kids who are not only firmly rooted but also ready to fly!
