We’ve all met them. Those people who seem nice on the surface, but something just doesn’t feel right. They act friendly, but underneath, you get a feeling they don’t really like you.
This discrepancy can be quite confusing. Are you just being paranoid or is there really something off about their behavior?
Well, believe it or not, there are certain behaviors that people who secretly dislike you often display. These signs can give you a clear indication of their true feelings.
In this article, we’ll delve into the 8 specific behaviors often displayed by people who act friendly but secretly dislike you.
Let’s get started.
1) They’re overly sweet
Nobody’s perfect. We all have off days and moments when we’re not feeling particularly friendly.
However, when someone is consistently sweet and never shows a hint of annoyance or frustration, it might be a sign they’re hiding their true feelings.
People who secretly dislike you might overcompensate by being extra nice. This is to mask their real emotions and to avoid suspicion.
It’s a tricky behavior to spot since we all want to be surrounded by nice people. But remember – if it feels too good to be true, it probably is.
2) They avoid eye contact
I’ve noticed this one time and time again. People who don’t like you often avoid making eye contact.
Here’s an example from my life. I used to work with a colleague named Gary. On the surface, Gary was friendly. He would always greet me with a smile and ask how my day was going.
But I couldn’t help but notice that Gary rarely made eye contact with me during our conversations. His eyes would often dart around the room, or he would focus his gaze on something behind me.
It was subtle, and at first, I thought it might be just a quirk of his. However, as time went on, I realized that he didn’t do this with anyone else in the office.
This avoidance of eye contact was a red flag that Gary didn’t genuinely like me. It wasn’t until later when I found out from another colleague that Gary had some issues with me, which confirmed my suspicions.
3) Their body language is closed off
Body language speaks volumes. When someone likes you, they tend to lean towards you during conversations, their arms are relaxed and they maintain an open posture.
However, if someone secretly dislikes you, their body language might tell a different story. They may cross their arms, lean away from you or have a rigid posture.
Research has shown that more than half of our communication is nonverbal. It’s conveyed through our body language and facial expressions. This is a significant percentage, which means ignoring body language signs can lead to misinterpretation of people’s intentions.
4) They subtly put you down
People who act friendly but secretly dislike you often have a knack for delivering backhanded compliments or subtly putting you down.
These comments can sometimes be so cleverly disguised as compliments that they might not immediately sting. Instead, they leave you with a lingering feeling of unease without knowing exactly why.
Their words may sound supportive or kind at first, but their underlying message is often a dig at your self-esteem. It’s their way of undermining you without appearing overtly hostile.
If you notice someone has a habit of making such comments around you, it might be a sign that they’re not genuinely friendly towards you.
5) They’re never truly happy for your achievements
It’s natural to want to share our joy and successes with others. When we achieve something great, we want our friends to be genuinely happy for us.
However, people who act friendly but secretly dislike you might react differently. They might downplay your achievement, change the subject quickly, or, in some cases, turn the focus onto themselves.
It hurts when those we consider friends don’t share in our happiness. But remember, their inability to rejoice with you says more about them than it does about you or your achievements.
6) They’re not there when you need them
In my experience, a true friend is one who stands by your side, especially during tough times. However, people who secretly dislike you have a tendency to disappear when you need them the most.
I remember when I was going through a rough patch in my life. I was dealing with a breakup and needed someone to talk to. There were those who lent me their shoulder to cry on, but there was also a ‘friend’ who was conspicuously absent.
Despite acting friendly and appearing to be a good friend during happier times, she seemed too busy every time I reached out to her for help. It was a painful realization, but it made me aware of her true feelings.
7) They gossip about others with you
Gossiping might seem like a harmless way to bond with someone, but it can also be a sign that the person isn’t as friendly as they appear.
If someone is constantly sharing negative information about others with you, chances are they’re doing the same about you when you’re not around.
This behavior is often a sign of hidden resentment or dislike. Instead of addressing their issues directly, they resort to gossiping behind people’s backs.
8) They don’t respect your boundaries
In any relationship, respect for personal boundaries is essential. No matter how friendly a person may seem, if they don’t respect your boundaries, it’s a clear signal they don’t have your best interests at heart.
Whether it’s disregarding your personal space, ignoring your requests, or consistently pushing you out of your comfort zone without your consent, such behavior is a red flag.
Someone who truly likes and respects you will also respect your boundaries. If they don’t, it might be time to reconsider their place in your life.
