Mastering the art of small talk is not as simple as it seems. It’s all about choosing the right words to keep the conversation flowing naturally.
The difference is all about authenticity. Good small talk isn’t about pretending interest, it’s about genuinely connecting with people through casual conversation.
Experts in small talk know that there are specific phrases that can help create these connections. They know how to use them to engage others, without coming off as phony or insincere.
Let’s get started.
1) How’s your day going?
Small talk is all about light, casual conversation. The type that helps you connect with someone without delving into heavy or personal topics.
One of the best ways to do this is by asking about their day.
Simply asking, “How’s your day going?” can open up a wide range of topics. It gives the person a chance to share something about their day, good or bad.
This question shows genuine interest in the person you’re talking to, but in a non-intrusive way.
It also opens the door for them to ask about your day, creating an easy back-and-forth exchange.
2) That sounds interesting, can you tell me more?
Curiosity is a key ingredient in effective small talk. It shows that you are not just engaged in the conversation, but that you also value what the other person has to say.
There’s this one time I was at a networking event. I was having a conversation with a person I just met, and he mentioned he’s into hiking and recently hiked Mount Everest. Instead of just nodding and moving the conversation along, I said, “That sounds interesting, can you tell me more?”
Suddenly, his eyes lit up as he began to share his experiences – the preparation, the challenges, and the triumph of reaching the peak. It led to an engaging conversation where we both shared our love for adventure and outdoor activities.
Asking them to share more about their interests or experiences not only extends the conversation but also provides a chance to find common ground or shared interests.
3) Have you always lived in this city?
The question “Have you always lived in this city?” is a great way to keep the conversation flowing. It’s an open-ended question that allows the person to share about their past, present, and maybe even their future.
This question can lead to a wide array of topics such as travel experiences, cultural differences, childhood memories, or even their favorite local spots. It’s an effective way to learn more about a person beyond just their current circumstances.
Asking more questions—and in particular, asking follow-up questions—increases people’s positive impressions.
4) Isn’t it a lovely day?
Talking about the weather might sound cliché, but there’s a reason it’s such a common topic in small talk. It’s a shared experience, something that everyone can relate to and have an opinion on.
This phrase, “Isn’t it a lovely day?” not only sparks conversation, but also sets a positive tone. It gives the impression of optimism and positivity, which can help to create a comfortable and friendly atmosphere.
Whether the answer is a cheerful agreement or a humorous complaint about the weather, this question opens up the floor for further conversation.
It’s simple, non-invasive, and can easily lead to new topics or shared experiences.
5) What’s your favorite way to relax after a long day?
Everyone has their own unique ways to unwind and de-stress. Asking someone about their go-to relaxation methods can lead to an interesting and enlightening conversation.
The phrase “What’s your favorite way to relax after a long day?” can help uncover shared hobbies or interests. It can also provide insight into their personality and lifestyle.
Whether they love to read a good book, go for a run, or binge-watch their favorite show, this question allows the conversation to flow naturally into different topics.
Plus, it can lead to recommendations or tips that you might find useful too!
6) Do you enjoy what you do?
This question digs a bit deeper and allows the person to share about their passions, or perhaps, their aspirations. “Do you enjoy what you do?” is a thoughtful question that shows you care about their happiness and satisfaction in life.
It’s not just a conversation starter, but also a chance for them to reflect on their work or hobbies. Whether they’re passionate about their job or they have dreams of doing something else, this question opens up a meaningful dialogue.
Remember to be a good listener when they answer. Empathy and understanding go a long way in making small talk feel significant and rewarding.
7) Have you read any good books lately?
I’ve always been a bookworm. Reading transports me to different worlds and broadens my perspective. That’s why I often ask, “Have you read any good books lately?”
This question not only allows for a potential exchange of interesting book recommendations, but it also opens up discussions about different topics. The books we choose to read often reflect our interests, beliefs, and aspirations.
Even if they’re not a big reader, this question can lead to them sharing about other media they enjoy, like movies or TV shows. It’s a simple way to delve into someone’s interests and maybe even find some common ground.
8) What’s your go-to guilty pleasure?
Asking someone about their guilty pleasure can make for a fun and intriguing conversation. “What’s your go-to guilty pleasure?” is an unexpected question that can reveal a different, more personal side of someone.
Whether it’s a cheesy TV show, a questionable music taste, or a love for fast food, this question allows people to share something they typically keep for themselves.
It’s a light-hearted way to break down walls and show that we all have quirks and peculiarities, making the conversation more authentic and memorable.
9) Do you have any travel plans coming up?
Traveling is a topic that most people love to talk about. Asking, “Do you have any travel plans coming up?” can lead to exciting conversations about future adventures, past trips, or dream destinations.
This question allows people to share their excitement for new experiences, or reminisce about their favorite travel memories. It’s also a great way to get recommendations for your own future travels.
Even if they don’t have any upcoming trips, this question can still open up discussions about hobbies, interests, or other future plans. It’s all about keeping the conversation lively and engaging.
10) I’ve really enjoyed talking to you
This phrase might seem simple, but it can have a profound impact. Telling someone, “I’ve really enjoyed talking to you,” conveys that you value the time you’ve spent together.
It leaves a positive impression and opens the door for future conversations. It shows them that their words matter and that you appreciate the interaction.
Small talk is more than just a conversation starter. It’s about making connections, building relationships, and understanding others better. This phrase brings all of that together in a sincere and amicable way.
