There’s a distinct difference between being a chatterbox and being skilled at small talk.
The distinction lies in intentionality. A chatterbox might ramble without purpose, while those proficient in small talk know precisely what to say to engage and connect.
Mastering small talk is an art, it’s about asking the right questions, providing thoughtful responses, and making the other person feel seen and heard. And guess what? There are certain phrases that can help you ace this art.
In this article, I will share 9 clever phrases that people who are great at small talk always use.
Let’s get started.
1) “Tell me more about…”
The realm of small talk is all about establishing a connection and showing interest in the other person.
And there’s no better way to do this than by encouraging them to share more about themselves or their experiences.
Enter the phrase “Tell me more about…”.
This phrase is a gem in the world of casual conversation. Not only does it show that you’re genuinely interested in what the other person has to say, but it also takes the pressure off you to keep the conversation going.
It’s an invitation for them to dive deeper into a topic they’re passionate about or an experience they’ve had, providing you with more material to work with.
However, remember that the art of small talk isn’t just about asking questions. It’s also about listening actively and responding thoughtfully.
2) “That reminds me of the time when…”
Navigating the world of small talk can sometimes feel like a minefield, but one phrase I’ve found to be incredibly useful is “That reminds me of the time when…”.
This phrase is a great tool to create a personal connection and keep the conversation flowing. It demonstrates that you’re not only listening but also engaging with their story by sharing a relevant anecdote from your own life.
For instance, if someone tells me about their recent hiking trip, I might respond with, “That reminds me of the time when I went hiking in the Rockies. The view was breathtaking, but boy, was it a challenging trek!”
In doing so, I’ve shown interest in their story, connected on a shared experience, and opened up a new line of conversation about hiking or outdoor adventures. It’s crucial, though, to keep your story brief and ensure it adds value to the conversation rather than hijacking it.
3) “Did you know…?”
“Did you know…?” is another phrase that can work wonders in small talk situations.
This phrase allows you to share knowledge and spark interest, especially when the conversation seems to be dwindling or you’re discussing a common topic.
For instance, if the conversation veers towards coffee, you can say, “Did you know that coffee is the world’s second-most valuable traded commodity, only behind petroleum?”
This technique not only provides an interesting twist to the conversation but also opens up a new avenue for discussion. Just be sure that the ‘Did you know’ fact is relevant to the conversation and not too obscure, as the aim is to engage, not alienate.
4) “What’s your opinion on…?”
Engaging others in small talk isn’t about doing all the talking. It’s about getting them to open up and share their thoughts, too.
The phrase “What’s your opinion on…?” is a great way to do this.
This question invites the other person to express their views on a topic, showing them that you value their perspective. It can be used in a variety of situations, from discussing the latest movie releases to delving into current events or even sharing thoughts about a book you’ve both read.
However, it’s essential to choose the topic wisely. Avoid sensitive or controversial issues unless you’re sure the other person is comfortable discussing them. The goal is to create a connection, not an argument.
5) “I’ve always wanted to try…”
When it comes to small talk, revealing a bit about yourself can help build rapport and keep the conversation flowing.
A phrase that I’ve found to be incredibly effective is “I’ve always wanted to try…”.
This statement gives the other person a glimpse into your interests or aspirations, and it may even reveal common ground. For instance, you could say, “I’ve always wanted to try scuba diving,” and this might lead to them sharing their own experiences or aspirations.
Moreover, it opens up the conversation for advice or recommendations if they have experience with what you’ve mentioned.
6) “I appreciate that you…”
Small talk isn’t just about making conversation, it’s also about making connections. And one of the best ways to connect with someone is by showing appreciation.
Using the phrase “I appreciate that you…” can help create a positive atmosphere and deepen the connection between you and the person you’re conversing with.
Whether it’s appreciating their honesty, their insight on a particular topic, or even their sense of humor, expressing your gratitude can make them feel valued and appreciated.
For instance, saying something like, “I appreciate that you took the time to explain that to me,” not only conveys your gratitude but also reinforces their value in the conversation. It’s a small phrase with a big impact.
7) “I’m not very good at…”
Let’s face it, nobody is perfect. And admitting to our shortcomings can actually be a strength, especially when it comes to making small talk.
By saying “I’m not very good at…”, you’re showing a level of self-awareness and humility that can instantly make you more relatable and approachable.
For example, if you’re at a dance class, you might say, “I’m not very good at salsa, but I’m excited to learn.” This could lead to the other person sharing their own experiences or struggles, creating a bond over shared challenges.
Being genuine and authentic is key in any conversation. So don’t be afraid to show your human side – it could be the thing that makes your conversation memorable.
8) “How do you handle…?”
Asking for advice is another effective way to engage someone in conversation and make them feel valued.
The phrase “How do you handle…?” not only shows that you respect the other person’s opinion, but it also creates an opportunity for them to share their experiences and wisdom.
Whether it’s asking how they handle stress, juggling work and personal life, or even dealing with difficult people, this question can open up a deeper level of conversation.
Just make sure that the advice you’re asking for is appropriate for the situation and the relationship you have with the person. The goal is always to create a comfortable and engaging conversation.
9) “I really enjoyed our conversation.”
At the end of the day, small talk is about making connections and enjoying the interaction. That’s why one of the most potent phrases you can use is, “I really enjoyed our conversation.”
This statement reinforces the positive experience you’ve shared, leaving a lasting impression on the other person. It shows appreciation for their time and contribution to the conversation.
Only say it if you genuinely mean it. Authenticity can’t be faked, and people can tell when you’re being genuine. It’s this authenticity that turns small talk into meaningful connections.
Final thoughts: The universal language
The simple act of engaging in a conversation, however brief or superficial it might seem, is a testament to our shared human experience. It’s about acknowledging another’s presence, exchanging ideas, and appreciating the diversity of our stories.
The nine phrases we’ve discussed are more than just conversation fillers – they are tools that can help us navigate social interactions, foster relationships, and understand each other a bit more.
Remember, every person you meet holds a universe within them, full of stories, ideas, and perspectives. And sometimes, all it takes to explore this universe is a well-placed question or a thoughtful response.
So the next time you find yourself in a small talk situation, see it as an opportunity. An opportunity to connect, to learn, and to grow. Because at its core, that’s what small talk – and indeed, all human interaction – is really about.
