Some people believe that insecurity looks like someone shrinking in the corner, too timid to speak up.
But the reality? Insecurity is a master of disguise. It shows up in over-apologizing, brushing off compliments, scrolling social media, and feeling like everyone else has life figured out while you’re just… here.
We all have those moments — those nagging whispers that question our worth, that nudge us to seek approval or to replay that awkward conversation for the tenth time.
The tricky part? We don’t always realize these whispers are shaping our habits, our choices, and the way we see ourselves.
So, let’s take a closer look at these ten habits.
1) Constantly seeking validation
Insecurity about one’s worth often drives people to seek constant validation from others.
It’s like a need for reassurance, a confirmation that they’re doing okay, that they’re valued, and that they matter.
This seeking can take many forms.
It could be constantly asking for others’ opinions before making decisions, even small ones.
Or it could be an excessive need for compliments and recognition, a hunger for some kind of proof that they are good enough.
The irony is, that the more validation is sought, the less satisfying it becomes when received.
Because deep down, the person knows it’s not a reflection of their self-worth but rather a dependence on others’ perception of them.
2) Overthinking and dwelling on past mistakes
I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve spent lying awake, replaying past conversations in my head, analyzing every word I said, and every reaction I elicited.
It’s like a movie that just won’t stop playing.
This is a common habit among those of us who struggle with feelings of insecurity about our worth.
We overanalyze our every action and dwell on past mistakes, no matter how minor they might seem to others. We let these moments define us and convince ourselves that we’re fundamentally flawed.
But here’s the thing – everyone makes mistakes.
It’s part of being human. Learning to forgive ourselves for our past and understanding that it doesn’t determine our worth is a significant step towards overcoming this habit.
3) Fear of saying ‘no’
Did you know the inability to say ‘No’ is strongly linked with feelings of insecurity about self-worth? It’s true.
According to psychologists, people who doubt their worth often find it hard to assert their needs and boundaries.
They fear that disagreeing or denying a request might lead to rejection or a negative perception.
They avoid saying ‘No’ even when they should, sometimes at the cost of their own well-being or peace of mind. Their decision-making is driven by the fear of displeasing others, rather than what’s best for them.
4) Perfectionism and fear of failure
Perfectionism is not just a healthy desire for excellence. Sometimes, it’s driven by a deep-seated fear of failure.
People who are insecure about their worth often set unrealistically high standards for themselves, seeing anything less than perfect as a failure.
This habit can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety.
It can also hinder growth and learning, as it discourages risk-taking or trying new things due to the fear of not being perfect.
Understanding that it’s okay to make mistakes and that failure is a part of the learning process can help in breaking free from the shackles of perfectionism.
It’s important to remember that our worth isn’t determined by our achievements but by who we are as individuals.
5) Negative self-talk
We all have an inner voice, a dialogue that runs in our heads.
But for those who feel insecure about their worth, this inner voice is often critical and negative. It magnifies flaws, dwells on mistakes, and constantly undermines self-confidence.
This habit of negative self-talk can be incredibly damaging.
It reinforces feelings of insecurity and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, where we start believing these negative thoughts about ourselves.
Challenging this negative inner voice and replacing it with positive affirmations can be a powerful way to boost self-esteem and change the way we perceive our worth.
6) Difficulty accepting compliments
Compliments should be a source of joy and affirmation, right?
But for those of us who feel insecure about our worth, they can be surprisingly uncomfortable. We brush them off, downplay our achievements, or even question the giver’s sincerity.
It’s as if deep down, we don’t believe we deserve the praise.
We struggle to see ourselves in the positive light that others do. This habit can rob us of the joy of accomplishment and the opportunity to see our true potential.
7) Comparing oneself to others
I remember scrolling through social media, seeing everyone’s highlight reels—beautiful vacation photos, career achievements, perfect families.
It was hard not to compare my life to theirs, and often, I found myself coming up short.
This habit of comparing ourselves to others is all too common among those who feel insecure about their worth.
We measure our success against others, forgetting that everyone’s journey is different.
It’s a cycle that only fuels our insecurities and diminishes our self-worth.
The reality is, that comparison is a trap. The only person we should be comparing ourselves to is the person we were yesterday.
Our value lies in our uniqueness and our personal growth, not in how we stack up against others.
8) Overcompensating by acting overly confident
It’s often said that the loudest person in the room is the most insecure.
While this isn’t always true, there is some truth to it. People who feel insecure about their worth sometimes overcompensate by putting on a show of confidence.
This might look like boasting about achievements, dominating conversations, or even belittling others to make themselves look better.
It’s a defensive mechanism, an attempt to hide their insecurities.
But true confidence comes from within and doesn’t need constant validation or approval from others.
9) Avoiding new experiences
People who feel insecure about their worth often stick to what they know.
They avoid new experiences or challenges, fearing that they might fail or be judged. This can limit their growth and potential, keeping them in their comfort zone.
Exploration and learning are important parts of life. Taking risks and learning from our mistakes is important.
Avoiding new experiences out of fear only reinforces feelings of insecurity.
By acknowledging this habit, we can start to challenge ourselves, embrace new experiences, and realize that our worth is not defined by our successes or failures, but by our willingness to grow and learn.
10) Seeking happiness in external factors
One of the most telling habits of people who feel insecure about their worth is seeking happiness in external factors.
They believe that a certain job, a particular relationship, or a specific achievement will finally make them happy and prove their worth.
But the truth is, our worth and happiness can’t be found in external things.
They come from within, from accepting ourselves as we are, flaws and all.
Our worth isn’t determined by what we do, what we have, or what others think of us. It’s inherent. We are valuable just as we are.
Final thoughts
Insecurity has a funny way of making itself feel permanent — like it’s woven into the fabric of who you are.
But here’s the thing: you’re not your insecurities. You’re the person who notices them, challenges them, and slowly, piece by piece, untangles yourself from them.
Brené Brown said it best: “You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”
And maybe that’s the truth we all need to keep in mind. You’re allowed to stumble, to second-guess, to have moments of doubt — but none of that changes your worth.
So, here’s to recognizing those sneaky habits, showing yourself a little grace, and knowing that even in your messiest, most uncertain moments, you are enough.
