As individuals, we each have unique ways of expressing ourselves. One intriguing mannerism is when someone refers to themselves in the third person.
This idiosyncratic behavior can baffle many, raising questions about the person’s personality, motives, or mental state.
While it may seem like an eccentric quirk, psychologists suggest that it can reveal a lot about a person’s character.
People who consistently refer to themselves in the third person may display certain behaviors that set them apart from others. These behaviors can be subtle and not immediately apparent, but once you know what to look for, they become more noticeable.
In this article, we’ve collated key insights from psychology experts to help you understand this fascinating phenomenon better.
1) They detach
Detachment isn’t always as clear as someone completely avoiding personal pronouns. Sometimes, this detachment can occur subtly and progressively over time.
Often, when this happens, you might not be aware until you find yourself feeling disconnected or distant from the person, even during intimate or personal conversations.
You might notice they consistently refer to themselves in the third person, as though they’re talking about someone else. Maybe they say things like “John doesn’t like that” or “Sarah prefers to do things this way”, instead of using ‘I’.
In other instances, they might use their name while narrating an incident or expressing an emotion. For instance, they might say “John felt really upset when that happened” or “Sarah was ecstatic at the news”.
Psychologists suggest that this behavior could be a psychological mechanism for creating a distance between themselves and their emotions or actions. It’s a fascinating behavior that can provide an insight into their thought process and mental state.
2) They exhibit a heightened sense of self-importance
This behavior often goes hand in hand with referring to oneself in the third person. You might notice that they have a tendency to place themselves above others, seemingly elevating their status.
They might frequently talk about their achievements, skills, or talents, using their name instead of ‘I’. For example, they might say “John is a very skilled pianist” or “Sarah has a knack for solving complex problems”.
Such behavior could suggest that they perceive themselves as being superior or more important than others. It’s as if they’re both the narrator and the protagonist of their life story, and everyone else is merely a supporting character.
This heightened sense of self-importance, often associated with narcissistic traits, can manifest in various ways and can impact how they relate to others around them.
It’s a subtle but telling sign of how they perceive themselves and their place in the world.
3) They express empathy effectively
Surprisingly, people who refer to themselves in the third person can sometimes exhibit a heightened ability to empathize with others.
This could be due to their unique perspective of self-reflection, allowing them to step into another’s shoes more easily.
You might notice that they are often able to understand and relate to other people’s feelings and experiences. For example, they might say “John can see how that would be frustrating” or “Sarah understands why you would feel that way”.
While it might seem like they’re detached from their own emotions, this detachment could actually enable them to connect more deeply with the emotions of others. It’s a fascinating paradox that adds depth to their character and challenges conventional assumptions about empathy.
4) They struggle with self-identity
Underneath the quirks and unique speech patterns, some people who refer to themselves in the third person might be wrestling with self-identity issues. It’s an uncomfortable truth, but one that needs to be acknowledged.
You might notice that their use of third person when referring to themselves increases during moments of stress or personal crisis. They may say things like “John doesn’t know who he is anymore” or “Sarah is lost and confused”.
This struggle with self-identity can be hard for them and those around them. It’s a raw, personal battle that they’re fighting, one that their unique speech pattern might be a response to.
Understanding this behavior can provide valuable insight into their inner struggles and can help us approach them with empathy and compassion.
5) They seek self-comfort
Referring to oneself in the third person can often be a form of self-comfort. It’s a gentle, soothing mechanism that some people use to cope with life’s challenges.
You might notice that during stressful situations or emotionally charged moments, they tend to use their name more often. For example, they might say “John can handle this” or “Sarah will get through this”.
This behavior is their way of reassuring themselves, of telling themselves that they are strong and capable. It’s a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, adapting and finding ways to comfort itself amidst adversity.
As observers, it’s important for us to approach this behavior with kindness and understanding, acknowledging the strength it often represents.
6) They use it as a form of self-motivation
At some point, we’ve all needed a little pep talk to get us through a challenging situation.
For people who refer to themselves in the third person, this pep talk often comes in the form of self-directed comments.
You might notice that they use their name when they’re trying to motivate themselves. For example, they might say things like “John, you can do this” or “Sarah, just take one step at a time”.
This behavior is very relatable. We’ve all had moments where we’ve had to cheer ourselves on, muster up courage, or push ourselves to keep going.
It’s just that people who refer to themselves in the third person do this in a more explicit and direct manner. It’s a reminder that despite our differences, we all have our own ways of coping with life’s ups and downs.
7) They enjoy a sense of humor
Let’s face it, referring to oneself in the third person can sometimes be quite amusing. And often, people who do this are fully aware of the humor in it.
You might notice that they use their name in situations that are clearly meant to be funny or entertaining. They might say things like “John doesn’t share food!” or “Sarah loves a good party, she does!”
This behavior shows a lighter side to their character. It’s as if they’re letting us in on a private joke, adding a dash of humor and light-heartedness to everyday conversations. It’s a delightful quirk that can make interactions with them fun and memorable.
So, the next time you hear someone referring to themselves in the third person, remember, they might just be trying to put a smile on your face!
8) They may struggle with emotional vulnerability
It’s time for some hard truth. People who constantly refer to themselves in the third person might be doing so to avoid dealing with emotional vulnerability.
You might notice that during emotionally charged conversations, they resort to this speech pattern. For instance, instead of saying “I feel hurt”, they might say “John feels hurt”.
This could be their way of creating a buffer between themselves and their emotions, a sort of protective shield. It’s not necessarily healthy in the long run, as it can hinder genuine emotional connections with others.
While it’s important to approach this behavior with understanding and empathy, it’s equally important to encourage them to face their emotions head-on and to express themselves authentically.
It’s tough love, but sometimes it’s necessary for growth and healing.
Reflecting on the third person perspective
If you’ve ever interacted with someone who frequently refers to themselves in the third person, you’ve likely experienced a unique dynamic. It can be puzzling, amusing, and sometimes even challenging.
Being around such individuals can sometimes feel like you’re with a character straight out of a novel.
But remember, they are not characters; they are individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
So, rather than viewing their behavior as simply strange or entertaining, take a moment to reflect on what it represents. It’s a unique window into their perception of self and their approach to life.
As we navigate our relationships and interactions, it’s essential to remember that everyone has their own quirks and idiosyncrasies. Some are just more noticeable than others.
Having one or all eight of these traits doesn’t necessarily make someone ‘odd’ or ‘eccentric’. But it does offer an opportunity for us to reflect on the diverse ways in which we each experience and express our sense of self.
