Hey there, it’s Tina Fey here. Let’s talk about love, specifically about the women who value intelligence over looks.
These women are a special breed, often overlooking superficial attributes in favor of a sharp mind and stimulating conversations.
In my years as a relationship expert and founder of the Love Connection blog, I’ve noticed that these women tend to demonstrate certain behaviors that set them apart.
Ready to dive in? Here are six typical behaviors displayed by women who are more attracted to intelligence than looks.
1) They enjoy mental stimulation
First things first, women who are attracted to intelligence more than looks are driven by what’s known as “sapiosexuality“.
Sapiosexuality is a term that’s been floating around for a while now, and it refers to those who find intelligence the most sexually attractive feature.
This doesn’t mean they completely disregard physical appearance – but rather, they put a higher premium on intellectual compatibility and mental stimulation.
For these women, a good conversation can be far more arousing than physical attributes. They love deep discussions, enjoy complex problem-solving, and are often attracted to those who challenge them intellectually.
So if you find a woman more interested in your thoughts, ideas and worldview rather than your looks, she might just be placing intelligence over physical appeal.
2) They are discerning daters
Here’s something I’ve learned in my years as a relationship expert: Women attracted to intelligence over looks aren’t easily swayed. They’re discerning daters.
What does this mean? Well, they don’t just fall for anyone. Just because a guy is good-looking or has a well-built physique doesn’t mean they’ll jump right in.
No, they need substance, depth, and intellectual compatibility.
As the great poet Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
And for these women, feeling intellectually stimulated and emotionally connected is far more important than any physical attribute.
You’ll often find them taking their time, observing and evaluating the intellectual and emotional depth of their potential partner. They’ll ask questions and really try to get to know you – your thoughts, your opinions, your dreams.
This brings me to the next point…
3) They value depth over superficiality
From my personal experience and the countless stories I’ve heard, women who are attracted to intelligence over looks value depth in all aspects of life.
They crave meaningful conversations, profound experiences, and relationships that run deeper than surface-level connections. They look for partners who can explore the depths of their minds, not just their bodies.
In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discuss the importance of understanding and maintaining our emotional well-being in relationships.
For these women, emotional health is closely tied to intellectual stimulation. They understand that a rich and engaging intellectual connection can foster a healthier, more fulfilling relationship than a purely physical one.
So if you’re with a woman who tends to ask thought-provoking questions and enjoys deep discussions about life, philosophy or any other intellectually stimulating topic, she might be more attracted to your intelligence than your looks.
4) They are less influenced by societal beauty standards
Here’s another thing you’ll notice about women who are attracted to intelligence — they themselves are less influenced by societal beauty standards.
Let me explain.
These women have a unique perspective on attraction. They see beyond the typical standards of physical beauty that society often promotes.
Instead, they’re attracted to the beauty of the mind, the allure of intelligence, and the charm of a good conversation.
For them, a person’s intelligence, their wit, their insights, and the way they see and interpret the world holds far more appeal than traditional physical attributes.
So while the world may obsess over physical perfection, these women are busy being captivated by fascinating minds. And in a world that often focuses on the superficial, that’s a refreshing and beautiful stance to take.
5) They appreciate authenticity
One thing I’ve noticed about women who prioritize intelligence over looks is their deep appreciation for authenticity.
Authenticity is something I value highly, both in my personal life and in my work as a relationship expert. The ability to be real, honest, and true to yourself is incredibly attractive to these women.
They’re more likely to be drawn to someone who is genuine in their thoughts and actions, someone who isn’t afraid of expressing their ideas and opinions, even if they’re unconventional.
They admire individuals who have the courage to think differently and challenge the norm.
To them, authenticity is a sign of intelligence because it takes a certain level of self-awareness, understanding, and confidence to be authentic. And these are all qualities that they deeply admire and are attracted to.
6) They embrace change and growth
Finally, women who gravitate more towards intelligence than looks are often open to change and personal growth.
I suppose that’s a given, considering that intelligence often goes hand in hand with openness to new ideas and experiences.
These women appreciate partners who challenge them, help them learn, and support their personal growth. They’re not afraid of change; in fact, they embrace it because they understand it’s an integral part of life and relationships.
So if you’re with a woman who loves learning new things from you, who appreciates your perspectives and ideas that differ from hers, she might be more attracted to your intelligence than your looks.
Conclusion
For women who value intelligence more than looks, attraction goes far beyond surface-level appeal. It’s about connecting with someone who stimulates their mind, challenges their perspectives, and shares their passion for growth and discovery.
Looks may catch the eye, but intelligence captures the heart—and holds it.
This mindset reflects a deeper understanding of what sustains a meaningful relationship. While physical attraction can fade, the bond formed through shared intellect and emotional depth stands the test of time.
If you’ve identified with these behaviors, or if you’re in a relationship with someone who does, cherish it. As we’ve discussed, it’s a unique and beautiful perspective on love and attraction.
For more insights on building emotionally healthy and intellectually satisfying relationships, I invite you to check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s a resource that’s helped many navigate the complexities of modern relationships.
Remember, the beauty of the mind can often outshine physical attraction. As you navigate your relationships, let this be your guiding principle.
