Manipulation is the sinister sibling of influence. It’s all about control, but not the kind that lets you choose.
When someone’s truly manipulative, they’re masterful at hiding their intentions behind a veil of niceness. It’s a tactic often used by people, particularly women, who may not even realize they’re doing it.
Typically, these women seem sweet and caring on the surface, but under that facade, they’re subtly manipulating you to get what they want. There are certain behaviors these women exhibit that can help you spot their true intentions.
Here are the seven subtle behaviors commonly displayed by women who pretend to be nice but are actually manipulating you.
1) They’re always playing the victim
Manipulative people, including women who pretend to be nice, often have a knack for always playing the victim. It’s a subtle yet powerful tactic.
The idea is simple – they create scenarios where they seem to be the ‘wronged party’. This is done to elicit sympathy and shift the blame away from themselves.
For instance, they might narrate stories that paint them as helpless victims of circumstances or other people’s actions. They might even twist facts or exaggerate situations to make their plight seem more dire.
Playing the victim enables them to manipulate others into siding with them, feeling sorry for them, or doing things for them that they would otherwise not do.
If you find a woman constantly positioning herself as a victim in situations where it doesn’t add up, it’s a red flag. It may indicate that she’s not as nice as she portrays herself to be.
But remember, everyone has bad days and we all play the victim occasionally. It’s when this behavior becomes a pattern that you need to take note.
2) They’re masters of backhanded compliments
Manipulative people are often skilled at giving what’s known as backhanded compliments. These are remarks that initially appear to be compliments but are actually veiled insults.
Speaking from personal experience, I once had a friend who was a pro at this. She would say things like, “I wish I could be as carefree about my fashion choices as you are,” or “You’re so brave to wear that bold lipstick.” It took me a while to realize that these were not compliments but subtle jabs at my style.
These comments are designed to undermine your confidence and keep you off balance. In essence, they make you feel insecure and more likely to be influenced or controlled by the person giving the ‘compliment’.
So if a woman frequently gives you compliments that leave you feeling uneasy or unsure, it might be a sign she’s not as nice as she seems. She could be using these backhanded compliments as a manipulative tactic. Keep an eye out for this behavior.
3) They use guilt trips as a go-to strategy
Guilt is an incredibly powerful emotion and manipulative individuals know how to use it as a weapon. They will often resort to guilt-tripping as a way to control others and get what they want.
The manipulator will make you feel guilty for things you have no control over or shouldn’t feel guilty about, making you more susceptible to their demands.
For example, they might say something like, “If you really cared about me, you wouldn’t do that.” Or they could even bring up past mistakes to make you feel bad in the present moment.
In a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researchers found that guilt is one of the most common emotions people use when they want to influence others.
If you frequently find yourself feeling guilty around a particular woman, even when you know you haven’t done anything wrong, it may suggest that she’s using guilt as a manipulation tactic. It’s important to recognize this behavior for what it is and take steps to protect yourself.
4) They’re always one-upping you
Manipulative women often have a habit of trying to one-up others. This behavior is usually subtle and can be easily overlooked, but it’s a common tactic used to assert dominance and keep others feeling inferior.
They might do this by always having a better story, a worse hardship, or even a more significant accomplishment. The intent behind this is to continually keep you in a position where you feel less than them.
For example, if you share that you had a rough day at work, they will likely counter with a tale of how their day was even worse. If you mention an accomplishment, they’ll have one that’s bigger or better.
This constant one-upmanship can be exhausting and disheartening. It’s their way of keeping the spotlight on themselves and maintaining control over the dynamic of your relationship. If you notice this pattern in someone, it could be a sign of manipulative behavior. It’s not about genuine sharing or empathy; it’s about power and control.
5) They rarely take responsibility for their actions
One characteristic that seems prevalent among manipulative individuals is their inability or unwillingness to take responsibility for their actions. They always have an excuse or someone else to blame when things go wrong.
I remember a time when I was working with a colleague who always seemed to be in some sort of trouble. However, it was never her fault, at least according to her. There was always some external force or person to blame – the traffic, the weather, the boss, you name it.
This constant deflection of responsibility is a manipulation tactic. It’s a way to keep themselves in a favorable light while subtly shifting blame and creating a narrative where they are the perpetual victim.
If you notice a woman who rarely admits her mistakes and instead often shifts the blame onto others, it could be a sign of her being manipulative.
6) They’re excessively charming
Charm can be a wonderful trait. It can make someone charismatic, likable, and pleasant to be around. However, in the hands of a manipulative person, charm can be used as a tool for control and deception.
Manipulative women often use their charm to disarm and influence those around them. They may be excessively flattering, attentive, or agreeable to win you over.
This excessive charm often serves a dual purpose. First, it makes you like them and want to please them. Secondly, it can serve as a smoke screen, distracting you from their manipulative behaviors.
If you meet a woman who is excessively charming to the point that it feels over-the-top or insincere, it could be a sign of manipulative behavior. It’s always wise to trust your instincts when something feels off.
7) They use your weaknesses against you
Perhaps the most sinister behavior of manipulative individuals is their tendency to use others’ weaknesses against them. They are keen observers who pick up on your insecurities, fears, or past mistakes and use this information to their advantage.
These manipulative women will subtly play on your vulnerabilities to get what they want. They might remind you of past failures when you’re about to take on a new challenge or highlight your insecurities when they want to keep you in check.
This is about control and power. By keeping you insecure and off balance, they maintain their position of influence. It’s important to protect your vulnerabilities and be wary of those who seem overly interested in your weaknesses. Trust should be earned, not freely given.
